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59 year-old first time mother relives 30 years of childlessness ‘Why I never lost hope’

The Baby
The Baby

FOR over 30 years, Mrs. Omolara Irurhe waited on the Lord to have a child of her own.  She transversed the nooks and crannies of the world seeking solution until she came in contact with St. Ives Specialist Hospital, operated by Dr. Tunde Okewale.  In 2010, she began fertility treatment, and on Monday, June 16, 2014, she had her baby girl in her hand, a development which was aided via the In-Vitro Fertilisatio (IVF).  This case seems special and attracted world attention because Mrs. Irurhe is the oldest woman at 59 to have a baby through IVF in Africa.
At a time when most women would have given up because of menopause, Mrs. Irurhe didn’t give up.  She continued in her faith.  According to her, she and her husband, both Catholics hanged onto their faith until God answered their prayers.
Mrs. Omolara Irurhe, a school principal, married her husband,

Dr Okewale of St. Ives
Dr Okewale of St. Ives

Desmond Adekunle Irurhe 30 years ago after they met at The Polytechnic, Ibadan, Oyo State.  The excited mother revealed her love story and how she coped all through the waiting period.
In-Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) is a process by which an egg is fertilized by sperm outside the body.  The process involves monitoring and stimulating a woman’s ovulatory process, removing ovum (eggs) from the woman’s ovaries and letting sperm fertilise them in a fluid medium in a laboratory.

How does it feel to have a baby in your hand now?
The joy can’t be described.  Honestly, I am feeling the joys of motherhood.  I am now a partaker of it.  All the anxiety has vanished.  There is this joy inside of me as I speak, it is radiating in me.
For how long did you wait for this to come to pass?
I got married to my husband on December 3, 1983.  That is over 30 years now.  This December, it will be 31 years.
That 30 years was no doubt harrowing for you?
Honestly, but for the co-operation and understanding of my husband.  God saw me through.  There was not much pressure from the family.  That feeling of not having a child of my own made me sad all the years.  The anxiety, the shame is something I felt all those years.  It is natural people talk about the situation, it was harrowing but my husband understood.
Are you saying there was no pressure from the family?
Not much pressure.  I and my husband are from strong Catholic background.  We just believe in our faith and you know in Catholic we practice a monogamous home, no room for second wife.  So, that faith and the hope kept us going.
Throughout that period of waiting you must have one day thought of quitting the marriage and seeking solution somewhere else?
I never thought of that.  I actually thought my husband would have secretly had a child outside, that if it happened, I would just travel abroad and live my life.  But it didn’t happen. I never thought of quitting the marriage to try another way, never.
How would you describe your husband?
He is the best husband in the whole world.  If I come back to this world again I would still marry him. He is patient, supportive.  You can’t have a 100 per cent husband, men at times are funny.  He is very upright.  Even if he is angry, he doesn’t show it at home.  He plays the role of a good husband.
What convinced you to marry him at the first instance?
I was at The Polytechnic, Ibadan for my A’ levels.  I went to St. Agnes, Ilesha, Osun State.  It’s a girls’ school.  Most of us did not have boyfriends then.  So, getting to The Polytechnic, Ibadan, he was a professional student, Accountancy.  He is the first boyfriend I ever had.  Probably, that actually kept us going because we ended up marrying each other.
What was the attraction then?
His comportment, the way he dressed. He is good looking, that is part of it, and then I saw the future rosy for somebody who is an accountant. I saw us as a match because I moved to the university and then both of us are Catholics.
Were you actually a born Catholic?
Yes, my father’s family were Anglicans, my mother a Catholic.  So, when they married both of them became Catholics.  So, I was brought up that way.
What did you study in the university after your A’levels?
I did English Education.  I am now a principal of a school, Evan Adelaja Junior Girls Secondary School, Bariga, Education District 2, Lagos.
So, what does your husband do now?
He is retired.  He worked with the defunct Nigerian Airways. When it packed up, he left. He is now 61. He is doing consultancy work with Medview Airlines.
During the wait, how did your husband usually console you?
We only encountered little pressure and that is normal because we are Africans.  My husband would tell me we are not married because of children, we are married because we love each other, and if children come, so good.  And if they don’t come so good equally.  We can’t kill ourselves.  He supported me wherever I went, I mean hospital for treatment, some of which cost us money.  At times he would tell me to forget going for the treatment.  I would tell him I wanted to keep trying. I kept the hope alive.  Occasionally, if I don’t have the money, he gave me.
You never gave up?
Not at all.
Which countries did you visit during the wait?
When he was with the Nigerian Airways, we used to go to the UK.
Who now introduced you to St. Ives Specialist Hospital?
A friend told me about the hospital.  It was in 2010, when there was a promo for Nigeria at 50.
Have you decided on the name you are going to give the child?
People that have come visiting have been calling her Iyanuoluwa, Oluwasemilore, Iretiayo, Oluwatogbekele.  On my own, I want to keep it till the naming ceremony.
Are you planning to have more babies?
Because of my age and if the doctor says I am fit medically, I would have more.  If not, I think I am okay with this.  For God to have answered our prayers at this age, I will retire the next two years. I think this should be okay for us.  We want to give her all our care and attention and our love.
Tell us about your family background.
I am the first in a family of six children.  All my siblings are all married and have grown children.
Is it true that you spent close to a million naira for this?
Yes, something like that.  At St. Ives their charges are not expensive compared to other fertility hospitals.
What is the greatest lesson you have learnt in all these?
When one waits faithfully, you are not running from one place to the other just put your hope in God, keep strictly to the orthodox method, I believe God will one day answer.  Like I said, I and my husband are Catholics.  That faith kept us going.  What happened to me will rekindle many other’s hope in God.  Those looking for the fruit of the womb should not lose hope.  The husband and the wife should co-operate.  When there is co-operation in body and spirit, things will work.  When one is not co-operating, it gives room for anxiety which is not good at all.
What would you like to say to St. Ives Specialist Hospital?
Kudos to the hospital.  Dr. Okewale is a specialist in gynecology, very good and calm on the job.  The medical team are wonderful people.  The environment is conducive just as if we were in London and everything about them is cheap.

–           FOLUSO SAMUEL

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