Encomium
RAISING a child as a single mother can be challenging. Though the brave ones have taken it in their stride and doing it effortlessly.
We spoke with some single mothers on the challenges of raising kids alone.
‘It has not been easy, but we are coping’ – LIZ ANJORIN
How has it been single handedly raising your child?
It is not difficult. Right from the beginning, I see her as my sister. It is not difficult to provide all her needs according to my ability. Even if her father was alive, she is still my responsibility. The only time I feel his absence is when I feel I need a little encouragement or I need to hear well done from someone.
At times, when correcting her, I feel his absence. I think it would be good for a man to be involved in correcting her. If she requests to see her father’s grave, I might feel oh, if he was around. Aside these instances, there is nothing special about being single.
How do you juggle career and motherhood?
I tell my daughter this is what I do. So if I travel to get stocks or go on location for a while, she understands that I went to pursue what would put food on our table. She has that understanding. It has not been easy but we are coping.
How challenging has it been as a single mother?
It is challenging but the grace of God is sufficient. If her father were alive, he would have contributed meaningfully to everything. Most times, I tell myself everything is okay.
‘I have no difficulty raising my son’ – GRACE AMAH
How has it been single handedly raising your child?
It is not totally correct to assume that one person raises a child. Children are raised not only by parents, the society plays a role as well. And in Igboland, a lot of people can call the child to order. It is part of the upbringing. When a child goes to school, the teachers take over. When they attend church service, pastors take over. So in all, the society forms part of the raising up of children, even those whose parents are living together. However, drawing from your point of view of this question, I have no difficulty in raising my son because I have my parents and my siblings who are readily available to keep him company.
How do you juggle career and motherhood?
My son has not impacted negatively on my career. The boy is about five now and in a good school where he gets all the attention he needs. The joy of raising a child cannot even allow you engage in anything that will impede your attention to the child. I have never had any challenge combining my work with looking after my child because the boy’s needs take prominence over other things.
How challenging has it been as a single mother?
The issue of a single or married mother is all about perception. There are ladies living with men as couples who are worse than those living with a man. What makes life is the joy one derives from the way he or she lives and not whether you are living with a man or not. Yes, I am not married yet, but I am happy with the way God has been faithful to me.
‘God has been faithful’ – ALEX OKOROJI
How has it been single handedly raising your child?
It has been a blessing because it has helped me grow into a strong, determined woman. But at the same time, challenging because I am faced with the realities of playing multiple roles as a father, the breadwinner, the nurturer and caretaker.
How do you juggle career and motherhood?
I have no choice. I have to somehow strike a balance which is a hassle in itself. I have to work hard to provide for my son and at the same time be around to raise him. But God has been faithful. I also have been able to re-invent myself into other areas of the creative art and build a brand that enables me to work from anywhere, even from the comfort of my home. That’s why my blog, talk therapy, webinars and internet radio show are such a great way to stay active, even when I am not filming. I am also grateful to have a loving family who step in once a while to help me. For example, if I have to travel or go on set to film, I take my son and my baby sitter over to the family house or I have someone from there come over to watch over them. My dad or brother always takes him to the barber. That’s a special routine and bond they share. My mom and my sister also play the role of the funky grandma and assistant mummy.
How challenging has it been as a single mother?
I wouldn’t lie to you, I have seen lots of challenging moments. And every single parent understands the burden of raising a child. Whether financially, emotionally, mentally or physically, the challenges are endless. There are days I wish I didn’t have to do it all alone because it is easier to have someone share the responsibility with you. That being said, I am grateful I wouldn’t have discovered my immense potentials and creative capacity had I not been challenged by this circumstance.
‘I play my role well’ – BISI IBIDAPO-OBE
How has it been single handedly raising your child?
God has been on my side. Though I am not the only one taking care of her, I have my parents, I have siblings that are very helpful to me. Her father is also there. He is very supportive. It has been good, I bless God.
How do you juggle career and motherhood?
Every woman prays to be a mother. Every lady wants a baby to cuddle. Motherhood is a good experience. Once it is time for that role, I make sure I play it well. When it’s time to work, I go to work. My daughter is still young. As she grows up, she will understand that when I am not available, I have gone to work
How challenging has it been as a single mother?
So far, so good. God has been good to me. I don’t think I have any peculiar challenge.
