Encomium
NOT a few were shocked to their bone marrow when in December, 2013, Nigeria’s popular comedienne, Oluwadamilola Adekoya, a.k.a Princess, publicly announced that her marriage of seven months has irretrievably broken up.
Different reasons have been adduced for this break-up among which are: Her desperation to get married, age was no longer on her side and the fact that the husband thought she was more financially buoyant than what he eventually discovered.
ENCOMIUM Weekly got her to talk on Saturday, January 11, 2014 morning where she opened up to us.
Is it true that your marriage has actually crashed?
Since last year now, it’s no news again.
Yes, we are aware you made a statement late last year that your marriage has crashed.
That’s all.
In your statement you said the marriage crashed due to irreconcilable differences.
That’s the reason.
What were these irreconcilable differences?
I am not ready to divulge them. They are irreconcilable differences, so mentioning them all will not take us anywhere. I stated it then that we stayed together because we were trying to work it out. My family and the other family tried their best but we couldn’t resolve it. That was why it ended. So, why would I want to be itemizing reasons? They are many, that is why they are irreconcilable. It started immediately after the marriage. We both tried to make it work. Both families tried but unfortunately, it didn’t work out. I believe that is the way God wanted it. I don’t want anybody to call me on phone and try to be crying with me. All I want is for people to keep their fingers crossed and pray for a better 2014, for everyone of us. That is the only reason I am giving, there is no other reason than irreconcilable difference.
There were some allegations levelled against you. One of them was that you were oppressing him financially. They cited an example of both of you in a restaurant where you made it obvious to everybody present that you were the one paying for what the two of you had eaten?
They were there abi? People can say anything, it doesn’t matter. The truth is the truth. I did not discuss my marriage break-up with anybody except what I just told you. I am a celebrity, the other person is not a celebrity, so what do you expect? Any person can sit down and start writing what you just told me without even knowing me. If Kanye West was dating a non-celebrity and not Kim Kardashian, they will say the same thing. So, if I wanted to make the reason public, I would have said it myself. But it is not necessary. Marriage is between a couple. We did not take our marriage vow on the street. We took it before God. Me, I am not afraid of man, I am only afraid of God. Anything that happened between a couple and God is very sacred. That is it. There is no need for itemizing the reasons. What is that going to do? Is it going to make the other party (husband) happy? Is it going to make us happy? So, it is between the person (husband), I and God.
Really, I don’t owe anybody the reasons (why my marriage broke up) but they can sit down and start drawing up reasons by themselves. That is their problem. They have God to answer to. The most authentic news is the one you get from the source. I didn’t want people to be speculating because I was already hearing so many rumours, bla, bla, bla, even when we were still together trying our best to make it work. They kept on writing what they were not sure of. I remember there were times he would ping me to say see what they wrote again.
The press, particularly the so-called bloggers, many of whom are not credible kept on writing things that were not happening at all. That is why I said that now that the marriage has crashed, I hope they are happy.
I know few press men who are true to their professional ethics will not be happy about it (break-up), but the other ones that are not true to their professional ethics are the ones writing things that do not really exist. But they are not God and they cannot be more than God.
Now, that you said the marriage has ended, have you filed your divorce papers in court?
We will do whatever is needed to be done at our time. Marriage is not solemnized in church or court or anywhere. It is between the couple and God. A lot of people appear married today but they are not really married. Marriage is not about what people see, it is about what you know. It is what is actually happening between the couple. I can be married to you (interviewer) and I have four kids for you and I know in my mind those four kids belong to four different men. The marriage is not between you and me again. Me, I don’t deceive myself. Marriage is for two souls to come together and to live happily thereafter.
So, if this kind of thing happens, I don’t think the press should be happy spreading rumours. It is not a birthday party and it’s not a bank merger. It is a marriage. If it crashes or ends people should not start to write falsehood. Marriage is a sacred thing and I don’t think people should be joking around it.
Are you saying that there can never be any form of reconciliation between the two of you again?
I am not saying that. I am not saying anything. All I am saying is that God knows best and He will do what is best. Nobody can do anything by himself or herself, if God does not allow it. So, God knows best and He will do what is best. Like the Yoruba would say, there is no permanent friend or permanent enemy. The issue of marriage is shrouded in a lot of mysteries, it is God that makes somebody to decide that this is the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with.
It is not something anybody can control. Marriage, child-bearing are two mysteries of life that God did not completely reveal its secret to man. If not, I am sure you will be married to Beyonce now (laughter).
For how many years did you two court?
It is past now. I don’t really want to discuss it. But like I said God knows best. Ise Oluwa awa maridi ni (God does His things in mysterious ways). We are all in a movie and praying for happy end. A lot of people get married for different reasons like money, children, bla, bla, bla. Those who get married for happiness are happy with their partners. So, there is no need to start throwing stones because the happiness of your partner matters to you and that is why you married him. I think as adults we should just maintain some decorum.
But some people are saying that you were too desperate to get married that was why you did not take time to study and know your man?
You no know my age? Do you know how many men I meet a day or a year? Do you know how many countries I travel to? I don’t need to respond to that. Kini temi pelu yen (what is my business with that?) That won’t put food on my table. So, because you called me now, you are desperate to talk to me. Oh no, you are doing your job that is why you called me. The person I married was not the first person to ask or propose to me. So where is the desperation? In fact, let’s pray at 35, you will be married to a rich man with three wives in this Lagos. Who will come and ask you why did you marry Lagbaja? Nkan to ba pay olukaluku lo ma se (it is what pays each person that they will do). Like I said, o ye Olorun (God knows best).
– TOLANI ABATTI
