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Couples’ bedroom secrets –  how we initiate sex and the frequency

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The importance of sex in a marriage cannot be overemphasized. A lot of people believe sex is the string that holds a marriage in place.

Love, understanding, tolerance and sex work together to make a marriage stay in place through thick and thin. Age is also a big deal in a lot of Nigerian marriages as many believe that the man should always be slightly older than the wife, while a few believe that age is nothing but a number.

A lot of couples apparently do not know or have any idea how to initiate sex with their spouses neither do they know how many times they should be with their spouses in a month.

ENCOMIUM Weekly spoke with married men and women on how important sex is,  the right age difference between a couple , and whether it is right for women to marry men way older than them knowing full well that sex might be a problem.

 

DAPO SIYANBOLA

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes, sex is important, and that is one of the reasons people get married so that we can reproduce.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

There is no rigid number of times we need to have sex.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

By creating an enabling environment that preaches the message to the soul of your partner.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

It depends on the condition in which you married the old person. Going into the scriptures, the Bible did not tell us how old Adam was before God found him an help mate. I think love is more important in marriage even than sex. You can decide to have sex with a prostitute, that does not make her your wife.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Age is irrelevant in marriage, once there is love. marriage should be conducted under matured age as provided by the law of the land from 18 and above.

 

LAWRENCE CHURCHILL

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes, actually, sex is indeed important in marriage.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

Naturally, three times a week is great, some say, 12 times in a month.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It’s never planned. It’s always good to marry someone you desire a lot. The feelings to make love can arise simply from thinking about her. You can initiate sex by showing her love and affection. Sometimes ordinary conversation, if intimate enough, can send the desire to make love surging through the bodies of partners involved.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

Some older men are more sexually active than some young ones. At times it boils down to health. How healthy and fit is the man? Love plays a major role in it too.‎

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Marriage should be measured in love and not in age. If two people are truly in love, age is then nothing but a number, as they say.‎

 

ISAAC OLUWAGBEMIGA

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes, it is very important because it’s the bedrock of mutual relationship and love. Procreation is also one of the reasons for marriage and sex leads to it being fulfilled.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

As much as the couple can take. It should not be tabulated or calculated, it should be a prompt response to stimulus.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It starts during the day with some flirty messages, then gifts most especially iced cream. Then sexual touching and from there would be a heat.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

It’s all about love and respect for whoever the person is. Some women don’t like too much sex either. So, it would be a nice idea for them to marry an older person so that the urge can die soonest.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

No definite difference but, it’s always advisable that the husband should be older in marriage.

 

SOLOMON FEMI

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

If that is not there then adultery is what you are calling for. I quite agree with you that sex is very important in marriage.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

At least couples should bond minimum of eight times a month. If they now want more, that is equally okay.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

Early hot kiss in the morning sends signal for the day and once I repeat it in the night she knows what will come next.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

It all depends on your partner.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Age is not to be in focus. Once you are in love, age may not be relevant.

 

MARIAM IBRAHIM

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

It is a vital ingredient in a healthy marriage. It makes couple bond, it is for procreation as well.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

I don’t think there is a limit to it. Different people with different level of sexual feelings. Some can have sex often and some once a while. It all depends on the couple and what they want.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

My partner knows the right time for the game. Whenever I give her a massage or undress her then and then she knows I am in the mood.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

I married a young lady in her early 20s and very active in bed as well. The reason simply being that she is young. Different strokes for different folks.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

I think the maximum should be five.

 

EMMANUELLA OLUWASEYI

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, it is. It is the bond of every successful marriage.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

It all depends on the couple. Twice a week is a good one.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It is a confidential code that I will not disclose on this platform.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

Not really. Age is not a criteria to being sexually active. It is of the mind and above all, the health condition of the parties involved.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

No ideal age difference but matured mind.

 

BUKOLA IDOWU

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes, of course it is important. The day any of the individuals involved stop having sex with each other, then, the marriage is over because that is one of the key reasons marriage was created.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

There is no calculation to sex. It should happen whenever it’s meant to happen. Except maybe during pregnancy that one needs to be careful and during menstrual period.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

Usually, I am always tired from the day’s work. So, he initiates it most time. So, I am not gonna give him away on that.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that they might not be sexually active after a while?

I don’t think I can answer that because I am not married to one. Somebody in that position should do better. He might be old but active and might not be. So, only the person involved can answer that.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Well these days, age doesn’t really matter because of young girls marrying older men and vice versa. But at least five to seven years is not bad.

 

TAYO

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes, it is very important because it facilitates the union and strengthens intimacy between husband and wife. It is not only for child bearing.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

Ordinarily, as a man, you need ejaculation at least twice in a week so also for a woman that is above 27. Even though it creates intimacy, researchers have shown that sex enhances longivity and it cures stress and diseases. So, in this case having sex twice a week is good.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

That I can’t say. It comes naturally so far you are married. At times, I may decide to hug my wife and do something unusual or I will tell her I like what she is wearing or her hair is nice and we will celebrate it tonight then she would know what I mean.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Many people make that mistake. People are not created equally by God in terms of strength. The peak of every man is in his early 20s or 30s but when he is approaching his 40s, he starts complaining of waist pain, weak erection, quick ejaculation so, it is not advisable because she cannot get enough sex to keep her marriage.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

At least the husband must be little older than his wife to have all round respect. At least, five years is perfect.

 

EVANGELIST ANTHONIA

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, it is because it is the nucleus of marriage. When we look into creation for instance, when a man sleeps around, people will advice him to marry so he can settle down and stop sleeping around.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

It depends on their agreement but according to the Bible, if any woman denies her husband sex, Apostle Paul said it is stealing.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

Everything is based on the agreement and understanding. So, if there is no agreement, there will be problem.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

It depends on choice and ability, someone who knows that her ability will not stand it when the man is not sexually active anymore, why marry. That is why you find people flirt about because they do not have the ability. Some think of the money and what they will gain from the marriage.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

From 10 down or 15 downward.

 

MRS. CHIOMA

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, because for the couple to come together, their aim is to give birth to children.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

I don’t know.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It is by agreement.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

No, it is not advisable because when the man is not sexually active, the lady will turn herself into a prostitute by sleeping around. Also most ladies marry older men because of money without thinking if they will be able to get enough sexual satisfaction.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Five to 10 for a normal marriage but not when a man is 50 and he is married to a 19 year old girl.

 

BOLA

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, sex plays a crucial role in marriage and it’s as important as number one priority.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

As much as they can do in a month depending on their desire.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

With romance and attention.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

It is a thing of choice. Nobody can dictate what a person wants for him or herself.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Four to five years.

 

OLUYEMI

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, it is important in marriage.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

As many as they want because that is why they are married.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

Through kissing and romance.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

No, I will not advise such because the lady will end up sleeping around.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Maximum of five and minimum of one to three.

 

KENECHUKWU EMEKA

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Sex is important in a marriage.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

How much sex depends on the couple. I will advice any number but on a weekly basis to keep the marriage spicy.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

By being very romantic not just when you need sex so that the partner will be in the mood for it.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Age is a number, it is more of a question of why the girl is marrying the older man. Is it for love, money, maturity, protection, etc. If it is for the right reason then age becomes insignificant. There are successful marriages with great age difference. A great percentage of men do not lose their sex drive at old age. That is why an old man can still impregnate a young woman. Men don’t have menopause.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

On a normal circumstance, the maximum should be five for men so that they can relate better with each other, but not a 20 year age difference and they might have a better marriage than a five year old age difference. And we have seen it happen as one partner is more matured to stabilize the marriage.

 

OSIGWE

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes, because it is ordained by God and it is a way of procreation.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

I don’t know, it depends on their wish.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It depends on what they want, how they want it and what they feel it is their decision.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Marriage is a matter of choice, whether the man is old or the woman is old. Though any man that is married because of sex is not married, marriage has a lot of things to it.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

That is an individual choice because some people at 70 they will still marry a girl of 25.

 

IREWOLE

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Sex is important in marriage. Like people will say it bonds the union more.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

It depends on individuals. I can only speak for myself, I cannot speak for others.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

Through holding and playing with her.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

I can’t advice younger person to marry somebody that is old enough to be his or her father or mother. Young people still have strength and energy but older people are not that strong except they use sex enhancer which is very dangerous.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Age difference should be between three and five.

 

ADEDEJI AGBOOLA

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Sex is important.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

They should have as much as both of them can handle per time. If one person likes sex more than the other, there will be problem.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It’s all about being sensitive to your partner.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Sex is important in marriage but its not the most important. Companionship is also important, so if the two parties feel comfortable with each other, then sexual activity may not be an issue whether the man is older or not. Besides whether old or not, a man is always ready to roll in the hay.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Age difference cannot be that solid in my own opinion. Obviously, it makes more sense to marry from your own generation. Anything outside that, I think is going too far.

 

MCNEIL AFEGBA

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Yes.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

It depends on both partners. They should be able to satisfy each other.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

I will touch her in a sensitive place, and she understands what that means.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

I don’t think women who go for older men go for sex, most times they go for the material things.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Two to 10 is okay.

 

OLUREMI ADEMOLA

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

Like four times in a week that’s 16 times in a month.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

From kissing or talking a little bit dirty, playing. I don’t have a fixed way because if it is fixed it becomes boring, that means whenever I kiss her she will think I am in the mood.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Once they are both comfortable there is no issue.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Minimum two, maximum four.

 

MRS. OMOTAYO LAWAL

Do you think sex is important in marriage?

Of course, yes.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

Doesn’t have a fixed number.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It just happens, I don’t really know. It can start from a hold of hands.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

Marrying an older man isn’t an issue, being contented is the issue. If you married an older man then you have to bear with him or he should use drugs like Viagra to get in the mood.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

Most men are more sexually active than women, but one shouldn’t marry a man who is older like 15 or 20 years. 10 years should be the maximum.

 

MRS. AISHA USMAN

Do you think sex is important in a marriage?

Yes.

How much sex should a couple have in a month?

As much as they can both have, it brings them closer and that’s when some people can really talk.

How do you initiate sex with your partner?

It just happens, one thing leads to another. I may not want but when I get home and something makes me happy.

Do you think it is advisable to marry an older man considering the fact that he might not be sexually active after a while?

It’s really not advisable for one to marry anyone who is far older. You will find out that any relationship that is not based on love won’t last. Some people marry older men and stick to them, it has to do with contentment.

What should be the age difference between a couple?

From zero to 10.

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