Trust is key for any relationship to work, more so in marriage.
ENCOMIUM Weekly had a chat with some couples on whether they trust their spouses enough to allow them access to their phones.
‘It is better to be happy than remain a sad woman’ – Mrs. Dominic
No, I don’t. I don’t check my husband’s phones and I will not advise women to do it because it is better to be happy than remain a sad woman if the person finds out about the unknown. So I don’t want to start fighting my husband or his girlfriend. So, I don’t try to but I trust him anyway.
‘There is no reason to do that’ – Mrs. Tochuckwu
There is no reason to do that. I believe in karma a lot and it works because it only takes a cheating woman to be afraid of her husband getting a new wife or having concubines. But for the trust I have for my husband and I know he cannot do such because I love him dearly and he does too, so I do give him his freedom.
‘There is nothing wrong in that’ – Olufunke Adio
There is nothing wrong in allowing your partner check your phone so far you if you don’t have any skeleton in your cupboard. As far as I am concerned, I don’t count it as anything if my husband checks my phone but I don’t check his because I don’t have any reason to suspect him.
But one thing I don’t do is that I don’t pick his call on his behalf no matter how much the phone may ring, likewise he also doesn’t.
‘It’s rubbish’ – Samuel Oludara
I can’t allow my wife access my phone. It’s rubbish. Why is the phone now a private property? Also, I can’t touch her phone. We both deserve respect. I trust her and I believe she trusts me as well. So, why do I need to access her phone?
I am a businessman, I deal with different kinds of people, men and women alike. It will be wrong if my phone rings and my wife picks the call, the caller now detects it’s a woman that picked the call, instead of me. The person may feel insulted and may not call back again. If the person wants to discuss business with me, especially if it’s a woman, that may be the end of it all.
So, I don’t buy the idea of spouses checking each other’s phones. It can destabilize home.
‘It is not a big deal to me’ – Seyi Olamide
Yes, why not. He allows me pick his calls and I also allow him pick my calls. It is not a big deal to me. It is really nothing to me, marriage should be a union built on trust. Once you are double minded about your partner, it is better to sort it out with him or her. If not, it can lead to something else and things might fall apart one day. I don’t subscribe to that thought that a woman should not check her husband’s phone.
‘I don’t see anything in it’ – Ope Aderinto
Yes, I don’t see anything in it. Doing that will build trust and keep a relationship going. Part of the vow we made is to become one, to trust and love till death do us part. I don’t see a big deal to that really.
‘Is that even necessary in this day and age?’ – Korede Ipadeola
No, I don’t. Is that even necessary in this day and age? There are many ways to hide an extra marital affair from your spouse without your phone incriminating you.
I believe if you have an understanding with your partner, there’ll be no problem. Besides, what will that person you want to cheat with going to offer you that your man can’t!
‘I have access to my husband’s phones’ – Helen Igbinova
No, I don’t check. I have access to my husband’s phones, just as he does mine. We don’t see it as a big deal. One thing I’ve realised about life is that the thing someone is trying to keep from you is what you’ll force yourself to see or know. But when the person is not trying to hide anything, you’ll be free.
If I answer his call, the caller will not be very surprised because they know he’s married. Same goes for when he answers my calls, too.