Bukola Oduwaiye and Mr. Fredrick Segun Duyile were husband and wife for 17 years with four children to show for it.
But according to Ms. Bukola Oduwaiye, it was 17 years of mental and emotional torture. It was 17 years of pain and loss of career. Through the instrumentality of the law, she also lost the custody of four children of the marriage to her estranged husband.
Ms. Oduwaiye made her case known to the world through a video tape she posted on her Facebook on Monday, August 24, 2015, where she rained curses on her former husband and those who she claimed are collaborating with him to make life difficult for her.
Mr. Fredrick Olusegun Duyile, in his response to his estranged wife’s video tape revelations appealed to people to discountenance everything she said on the video tape because she has been having problems with her mental health for sometime now.
WOMAN RAINS CURSES ON HUSBAND FOR SENDING HER LETTER OF DIVORCE
“Hello friends, well I am here today, I didn’t plan this but I have some news to share with you.
“This morning, I got a letter supposedly from Nigeria, from my ex, Fredrick Segun Duyile. He sent me a letter for the proceedings of dissolution of marriage. It is high time anyway. I am not surprised. But what’s this drama all about? I mean this video recording. This is for a reason. The reason for this is that I am so aggrieved about all the lies and disrepute to my name. This is a man that we lived together for six years in Nigeria and I was severely abused. There were so many episodes of violence against me, so many witnesses to attest to that.
“I left him in Nigeria, I came to Europe and I lived here for over six years. When I was leaving Nigeria, I didn’t leave with any of his property. Everything we both worked for together, I left him everything. As at the time I left Nigeria, I left him with four cars and landed property in Lekki, Lagos. The only thing I brought with me to Europe, was £1,000, my BTA (Basic Transport Allowance), with my two sons and a pregnancy, I don’t owe him anything.
“Then, he came over after six years that I left him. When he came to my home in my former house (in Europe), I asked him what he wanted. He said he wanted his marriage. He gave me the option of joint custody. I gave him the option of full custody of the two boys if he wanted. I gave him the option of access during holidays. I gave all available options (but) he said he wanted his marriage.
“Then I went there, spent all my money, took him back to church to go and do 10 years wedding anniversary and renewal of vows. I spent all my life savings. This is a man that when I left him in Nigeria and came here (Ireland), struggling as the sole carer, sole custodian, sole provider for my three children as at then.
“I studied by day, went to classes by day and at night I will go to Brandom Hotel and worked at the kitchen, worked at the banqueting hall of Brandom Hotel.
“This man, everything we both worked for in Nigeria, he sold off everything and was going about from one night club to the other. Because, according to the stories told by his brother’s wife, who told me how in night club, this man will buy a bottle of champagne for N120,000 and keep popping it for them. While I was here in Europe pushing bogies, struggling in the kitchen at Brandom Hotel, going to classes by day, taking three children all about, I never asked him for anything.
“He said he wanted his marriage again and all my life savings, I spent it. I took him to church to go and re-wed him, 10th wedding anniversary and renewal of vows, I spent my last dime on it.
“When he met me (in Europe), he met a car in front of my home. He said my car was due for NCT. We decided to buy a brand new car. I emptied my account together with some money from him, we bought a car. Every day, sometimes when I was going to office Recovery Haven, where I am working, he will take the car key from me and be fighting me over the car and so many other things.
“This man came in (Europe) illegally. I told him I will arrange a visiting visa for him. I started sending him letters of invitation and he started getting visas. The next thing, this man wanted residence, he started inviting social workers to my kitchen. Taking my children to social workers office that there was a scratch on my daughter’s face, which was by accident with my nail and all sort of lies against me, in a country where I have been the sole carer and sole provider for my children several years before he came.
“I have never been a negligent mother. My kids have never been abused. There has never been a case of abuse or negligence against me. Then, the next thing, he got his residence. On November 4 or 5, 2011. On November 8, 2011, I was going to the office, Recovery Haven, where I was working then. I was leaving for the office when he walked out on me. On the 11th (November, 2011), he tried to come in again, because when he walked out, his lawyers sent a letter that he wanted full custody and barring order against me.
“So, when he came back, I didn’t allow him in. I said, I have seen a letter from your lawyers that you wanted full custody of the children and a barring order against me and there is no reason why you should come back to this house. He was trying to manhandle me in the presence of my children. The kids were all crying. The police intervened and told him to leave.
“Now, this man went to court in Nigeria, all the violence and abuse against me he turned them against me saying saying I am the abuser and the violent one. He said on November 8, 2011, I attacked him, I threw him out, I attacked him bla, bla, bla.
“For goodness sake, this is a man that had his residence two days before. Even the residence, he stole my marriage certificate, my birth certificate, he stole all my documents to go and apply for his residence. He got it, I handed it over to him. He walked out two days after getting the residence. Now, he is saying that I threw him out, I attacked him (reading through the court papers in her hand). He also said I have the habit of leaving the matrimonial home sometimes for days without notice, without anyone knowing my whereabouts. For goodness sake, when did this ever happen? When he was here, I was doing a professional course in Dublin (Ireland) in Psychotherapy. So many people are aware. On Facebook, I have so many colleagues.
“This is the same man that will drop me at the train station while I go to my workshop in Dublin and when I returned, he picked me up from the train station. This is the same man going to court to lie that I will sometimes leave the home without anyone knowing my whereabouts. I don’t know. Is this man sick? I don’t understand how a pathological liar will just go to a court. This is the same man that will swear under oath in court over all these lies. He has his lawyers too to swear an affidavit on his behalf over all these lies.
“My issue with him is very obvious now. My issue with him is not even about the divorce proceedings and all that. There is also a case of adultery (he leveled against her in the court papers). This is the same man that from day one of our marriage, he had been cheating on me. I didn’t even have the gut to ever question him because if I did, I will get the beating of my life. He broke my arms on several occasions. He has beaten me to a point of unconsciousness, beating to the point that I lost my second pregnancy before I took in again and had my second son. Infidelity has been a normal thing with him. So, who is he now to charge me to court over infidelity when he has been doing it from day one.
“That is not even my issue. The divorce too is my issue because I have begged him long before now to leave because he is of no use to my life. The issue I have with him is all these lies against me, bringing my name to disrepute, denting my image. In the 17 years of the marriage, he has destroyed my career, destroyed my health, done all sorts of…I cannot begin to mention all the damages done against me. This is 17 years. Not ordinary 17 years, but 17 years of mental and emotional torture. 17 years of pain, 17 years that I cannot even mention all that I have gone through in his hands, including putting our children through all these emotional and mental torture.
“This is a man that when he came to me in this country, I asked him what he wanted. We could have simply sorted all these things out then, without making the children pass through all these pains. But since he chose to go through all these, there is nothing I can do. As usual, when he wanted the full custody and barring order, I refused to go to court. I told him, he could have whatever he wanted, I do not owe him anything, he is the one owing me a lot. For all the damages and everything that we both worked for that I left him everything.
“So, I am not going to court just as I did not go when he wanted the full custody and barring order against me. This one too, I will not honour him because he doesn’t even deserve the honour of my presence. If he is standing in the front of a judge and I am standing there with him, it’s like I am honouring him. He doesn’t deserve that honour from me. So, I wouldn’t be there (at the court).
“This is the same Bible (taking a Bible from the table beside her) that we used when we got married in Nigeria 17 years ago. This is the same Bible that I will use to curse him. Curse him for the pains of 17 years and for the destruction he has brought on me, on my career, for all the pains he put my children through, for barring me to play my role in the lives of my children, nurturing them to be the kind of men that will bring out the best in a woman and not a destroyer. For preventing me from all these roles, I will curse him. Even for his family. The Duyile family. They attacked me in the hospital when I had my second son in Nigeria. I almost lost my life. This same former husband, son of a … This is the same man that when he was taken to Iran, I almost lost my life trying to save his ass out of the jail in Iran. I know what I went through. For everything I have put myself through in the name of love, in the name of marriage, for the love of my children and for getting all these back. If all I deserve are all these pains, the denting of my image, ruining my career, ruining every good thing that should be in my life, he deserves a curse, together with members of his family. I will use this same Bible that I used to marry him 17 years ago to curse him (reading from the Bible).
“My heart is indicting of a good matter.” I speak of the things which I have made talking the king. My tongue is the pen of a ready writer.” And, therefore, I say Segun Duyile and all your liar lawyers that are helping you, aiding you in lies and swearing under oath, even with all the affidavits that they have sworn to and all those who have aided you in one way or the other in bringing me this kind of ordeal, in wasting 17 years of my life. Not ordinary 17 years, 17 years of pain, of torture, of hard work, trying to ruin my children to become motherless children. All of you I say it, let a wicked man stand over you and satan stand at your right hand. You shall be condemned and your prayers shall become sins.
“Your days shall be few and others shall overtake your place. Your children shall become orphans and your wives shall become widows. Those of you that are women, your husbands shall become widowers as your children become orphans. And I say your children shall become vagabonds. The exhortimer shall catch all that you have and strangers shall spoil your labour. None shall extend mercy on to you and neither shall there be any favour to your children as they become orphans. Your prosperity shall be cut and the generation following you.
“Your name shall be blotted out. So, shall it be for you all.
“This is the same Bible that we used to marry and it is the same Bible that I have used to curse you.
“And concerning your letter from Nigeria (she started igniting a lighter to burn the letter of divorce proceedings. I don’t know thousand of naira that DHL collected from you to bring the letter to me. This I am putting in flames. You can see I will burn it. That is what it deserves because it is all based on lies. And all you lawyers liar lawyers, I tell you cannot end well.
“Gbogbo yin patapata (all of you) any work you are doing that is based on lies, all the proceeds of that your job and your career, ti e ba fi ko ile, ile na ma wo leyin lori, ti o ma wo pa tin taya tomo. Ti o ba je obinrin, ti e ba fi ko ile, ile na wo pa yin took, ti omo ni. Ti e ba fi ise na ra moto, moto na ma fi eje yin we ni pelu gbogbo ebi yin. (The proceeds from your job and career, if you use it to build a house, the house will collapse on you and your family whether you are a man or woman).
“All of you, ki jamba ati agbako, ko ma ba gbagbo tin ni kan nikan as from now (accident and misfortune will visit all of you one by one). Your home shall become desolate, shout of joy and laughter shall desist from your home. It shall be sorrow for you Bi e se ngbe oku wole, ni e ma gbe oku jade. E ko ri ire se ni ile aiye yin. Ekun at Ibanuje ni ko ma je ti yin. Ki jamba at agbako ki o mu je tiyin. Gbogbo aisan oloro, aisan ti o gbo ogun, cancer at gbogbo aisan buruku ki o ma ba yin.
“Ki gbogbo yin tomo tomo ki e ma subu lule, ki e ma ku. Ki brain haemorrage ki o ma san gbogbo yin lati oju orun. Ki e ma ke ku lati oju orun. E o ni ri iwosan, e o ni ri igbala, e o ni ri ona gbe gba, e o ni rib a ti se, e o ni ri ona abayo.
“Ti won ba lo ogun fun yin, ogun na o ni sise. Gbogbo ewe yin ki o ma sun ko. A nise, e o ni ri ona abayo. There will be no redemption for you. There will be no mercy shown you (the court papers start to burn by now). You shall be a wreck. You shall come to your ruins. Your home shall become desolate. Gbogbo yin patapata ti eni owo ninu e. That you want my children to become vagabonds to become destitute and to become delinquents. You don’t want me to play my role in the lives of my children, it shall not be well with you…(more curses in Yoruba).
THE HUSBAND’S RESPONSE
‘MY STATEMENT ON BUKOLA ODUWAIYE’S VIDEO’
‘You probably watched a video tape made by my estranged wife, Bukola. In that video, she said many awful things about me and my family. I know how intense anyone hearing this for the first time would feel upon viewing her video. All things considered, I felt it’s important to make this brief statement as my reaction to that video tape.
“The purpose of this statement is not really to convince you that there is no truth in what Bukola said, even though all of it, yes all of it, is false and without substance. The fact, which I have always been reluctant to disclose, is that Bukola has not been well. We have struggled for years now with her devastating mental health condition.
“I make this statement just for our children’s sake. As you may have known, the courts of Ireland examined the facts of our family problems. After many interventions by Child Welfare Services and the authorities, the courts of Ireland determined that it was in the best interest of our children for them to be with their father because their mother’s health challenges have turned her into a danger to the children and to me.
“You will never know this by watching her video. Instead, you will most likely conclude that she is a victim of gross spousal abuse. But just like the Irish authorities, anybody that really gets to the facts will disagree with her.
“I will not come out here to try to persuade you to believe that the mother of my four children is a monster or evil. No! In fact, she is really a great person, except that she is not well. If we have anyone to blame for what she is doing, it will be the insidious ill-health that has ravaged her.
“If I have a request to make of you, it is that you consider the interest of our young children as you may be tempted to publicise or further disseminate Bukola’s video. All of us, including her parents and siblings, are ashamed by it all. We would be grateful if you can pray for us and allow us the privacy we need to cope with the situation. Thank you very much.”