Encomium
On Saturday, February 13, 2016, Foluke Daramola and her hubby, Kayode Ezekiel Salako took the entertainment industry and beyond unawares as they finally legalized their three year union. The legal marriage held at Kosofe Local Council headquarters, Ogudu, Lagos, and it was attended by a couple of family members, friends and colleagues. A light reception took place at Sunrise Chinese Restaurant, Ikeja, Lagos.
ENCOMIUM Weekly had an exclusive interview with the joyous couple on the significance of the event and much more.
Congratulations on today’s wedding?
Thank you very much.
But people will begin to wonder why you just formalized the union that has spanned three years, can you tell us the reason?
We just felt we should do what’s right this time so that we can continue to live together as husband and wife under the guidance of both the customary and constitutional laws. We realized that living as husband and wife under the traditional marriage we did three years ago was not enough. We needed to put our marriage in proper documentation status because most times, when we want to do anything together, they ask us for the marriage certificate.
So, the issue of where is your marriage certificate always comes up. And if we must continue to live together and achieve together, do things together as a couple, we just have to do it. And since it’s the ideal thing for the two of us to have documents to show for our marriage, we now felt okay, we should go ahead and document our marriage, formalize it so that we can always live together as husband and wife under the statutory law.
And that’s what we have achieved today. Besides, I have lived with Foluke Omolola Daramola-Salako for three years and I think I am more convinced than even when we started that she is the woman of my destiny which I have always said. And there is no reason for me to refuse to do what’s proper for the marriage since she is the woman I have decided to spend the rest of my life with.
So, if the marriage needs anything to make it to continue to be viable, acceptable and fruitful since I don’t have any skeleton in my cupboard I would do it. So, what we have done today is just to tell the public that we’re now living under an ideal marital status. So, if the white man asks me to prove that I am properly married to Foluke Daramola, I have what to tender.
And if traditionally or customarily, the head of my village asks for the evidence of my marriage to her, I also have something to show. So, there is nothing I am asked to produce that I don’t have as far as my marriage to Foluke Daramola is concerned. The marriage is now properly consummated, and it will continue to live and survive in that regard.
Why did you wait till now when you knew it’s important you legalized the marriage?
There’s no time that’s too late or too early to do what’s right. I felt I needed to know my woman very well, I needed to see if the two of us will be able to sustain that conviction. And I agreed with her, and I can boldly say that I am married to a very responsible woman.
Foluke Daramola-Salako is a very responsible woman who is so ideal in the way she carries out the business of her life. I am even shocked that she has to be this upright. Honestly, I didn’t expect it. Foluke is a very upright woman and she’s morally good. I must tell you, everything about Foluke is okay except for her troubles.
She’s a very tough woman. Foluke is more of a masculine person than a feminine. She is daring. Where you don’t expect a woman to go, Foluke is always ready to go. What you don’t expect a woman to do, Foluke would always want to do it and she will achieve it. That’s a kind of attribute I like in my woman. I like my woman to be bold and confident in herself. I like my woman to be able to compliment me.
All of these attributes are what Foluke has. She is fearless. Give her any task, she will deliver. So, she has all the qualifications I need in a woman. When I talk like this about Foluke, people will think I want to be painting her an angel. I have never seen her as an angel. Of course, she is not a perfect woman. But if I weigh everything about Foluke on a scale, I will see not less than 80 percent of what I like in her and less than 20 percent of what I don’t like in her. And those areas of her shortcomings, I am happy to say that she is a willing tool. She has been working on her but, I mean those areas she needs to make an amend. And today, I have been enjoying her because she is calmer now.
The first problem I had when I started living with Foluke was the fact that she was seeing her former husband in me. She was dealing with me the way she was dealing with her former husband. I had to let her know I am Olukayode Ezekiel Salako, I am not that person. I am a different person entirely. So, she should give me the opportunity to prove to her that I can always be all she has ever wanted in a man. And which I have been able to do.
I have been able to prove it to her that I can be her father, I can be her elder brother, a business partner and mentor as well as her friend. That I can also be her boyfriend. That’s why people always see us together. There are certain places that I am not even supposed to go with her but I will deliberately go so that she can always see me in that regard of being a friend more than a husband. If I want to be proving to be her husband alone, there are so many things that will not manifest in our marriage. But I have decided to come to Foluke’s age and the level of whatever will always make her happy and comfortable in her marriage to me. So, we have carried on like that.
And today, we have decided to tell the world that we mean business. With what we have done today, formalizing our marriage is a proof that we mean business, we know what we’re doing and we’re still convinced. And we have made that resolution to continue to live together as husband and wife for good, the better or even the worse of it. Within the three years of living together after our traditional wedding, I have been able to weigh my options.
I know my wife’s areas of weakness, and I have been able to work on them. And today, I can tell you that Foluke is a very subjective and submissive wife. And I am convinced about that. I am also convinced that she’s a woman I can continue to tame, control, govern and to live with forever. That’s why we had to formalize our union.
But with the step you took today, don’t you think your first wife can sue you for bigamy since she has not been properly divorce?
Whatever I have done today, let’s the law interpret it. But I consulted lawyers before going ahead to formalize my marriage to Foluke Daramola. So, let the law interpret whatever I have done today. I wouldn’t just go and do what I did today if I didn’t consult. I have consulted and I know I am not on the wrong side of the law.
What do you wish the two of you in this union?
I can only but continue to wish us good life together, more of God blessings, good health, protection and all the good things in a marriage.
Including a set of twins as some people had wished you today?
Yes, of course. I will like Foluke to have one or two children for me. That’s our wish and that I want from God. But I believe God’s time is the best. It’s only God that knows everything. If He wants to give us children, no one can stop that and if He doesn’t give us, that’s not a criterion. If Foluke doesn’t have any child for me, she is still going to continue to remain my bossom wife. Money or child is not a factor in our marriage.
The factor that shall continue to govern our marriage is about God. God Himself brought us together and imposed conviction on us. So, the two of us don’t have a choice than to continue to live under that conviction unless we feel otherwise.
No external force can separate us.
‘I feel humbled’ – FOLUKE DARAMOLA
How do you feel today that your husband, Kayode Salako has finally legalized his marriage to you?
I feel very happy, humbled and loved. I feel the best I can. He has made me to even respect his move, to have more confidence in him. Also, what he has done today has made me put him in a higher pedestal. In the three years that we have been married traditionally, not that we have not had issues or ups and downs, but the beauty of it is for a man to stay by his conviction be forthright says a lot.
It just says that the man is a true man and he’s a man that stands by his words. So, today I feel really happy and blessed to have Kayode Salako in my life.
Who suggested the idea that the marriage should be legalized after three years of living together as husband and wife?
It’s two of us because we see ourselves as friends. So, it’s not an issue of who should bring it first or should not. We both discussed everything and felt it’s needful for us to formalize our marriage. We’re not illiterate that we will now say we’re going to just rely on the traditional marriage.
And informally married to my husband is not a criterion to anything as far as we’re concerned. The only reason we feel it’s needful for us at this time is because I run a foundation, my husband is also in the corporate world, he’s an educationist. There are lots of documentations that we go through that at each point in time we always have hic-cups when we’re planning together as a couple.
So, most of the time we just talk to ourselves on the need to formalize our marriage. It’s not the issue of telling him, “Kayode, it’s time you take me to the registry”. No, there was nothing like that. I can’t even remember who came up with the issue. We decided between ourselves to do it and we also decided not to make any noise about it.
We just wanted something quiet. We just wanted to consummate the union. That’s exactly what we have done today.
Since three years that the marriage has not been registered, what has been going through your mind concerning the marriage?
Kayode is my bosom and best friend. He’s my greatest critic and fan. Like he has always said, our being together as husband and wife is about conviction. It’s not as if we’re not prone to temptations to say okay, let’s just forget about it. But the fact that we know we’re convinced about why we’re together. That’s the strongest factor binding our marriage.
And it’s beyond going to the registry as far as we’re concerned. Even, if we don’t go to the registry, I know my husband loves me very well and I love him so much as well. It’s not about another person coming up along the line. It’s more of a situation phase that I knew what I was into. And I have so much trust in the man I am married to and he has so much trust in me.
So, within the three years, we felt we’re having fun, we’re living like normal couple. So, it wasn’t a yardstick. It’s not like if you do this, we will go to the registry. There was no condition attached. It was just based on the fact that the marriage needed it. So, even it has taken us seven years to discover that our marriage needs to be registered, it wouldn’t have made any difference.
One thing I give to my husband as a credit is the fact that when you say someone is psychologically balanced, a man that doesn’t have any complex, no holds bared.
My husband can leave you with any man no matter how wealthy or influential that man may be, and he still believes in the fact that my wife is still my wife and she is still a decent woman. Those qualities, to me, are greater than any form of documentation. So, these are the things I see in him that convinced me that he has exceptional qualities.
To even marry an actress is not an easy thing. The reason most of us actresses have broken homes is that most men have complexes they can’t deal with us. They can’t deal with the fame, they can’t deal with the men that clamour around us. Not that I don’t have toasters, not that men don’t come around me, but you will never see my husband raise any eyebrow because of that. He always supports me.
He even advices me to be warm and nice to people because I may not know what they’re bringing to me. So, those qualities of his are weighed lighter than every other thing in my relationship with him. And when we’re close and now that we’re married, I don’t even see any difference. We still go clubbing, we go partying. We still do everything we used to do together before we’re married. Nothing has changed.
It’s like the normal relationship as far as I am concerned. That’s why, for me, this is more like just another day.
Then, what’s the significance of today in your marriage?
The significance of the event of today in my life is to be more submissive to my husband and to love him more because he has proved to me today that he truly loves me.
But was your first marriage properly dissolved?
Yes, my former husband filed for a divorce and I wrote a letter back to him. He’s already legally married to another person. So, we’re properly divorced.
-TADE ASIFAT
