Kayode Salako, the 45 year old husband of actress and activist, Foluke Daramola, has been ruminating on celebrity marriages…and in this second series talks about how celebrity wives can sustain their unions.
Here are his thoughts..
THE NATURE OF AN IDEAL CELEBRITY WIFE
- First of all, she is a very responsible, loving and good hearted woman.
- She knows she is a woman, who deserves a home, so she is determined to keep her marriage.
- She knows she is a woman first before being a celebrity, so she is determined to have a home.
- She knows the real definition of marriage, so she sees it as a necessity and not just an adventure.
- She knows that she cannot always be that beautiful young woman or the rave of the moment, so she needs marriage as her back stage to accommodate her ageing and retirement.
- She sees her husband as a husband, a friend and a crown, and not just a living partner, a fan or an ATM.
- She is about 60% more of the traditionally inclined woman around her husband and in her home than 80% of a fast lane today’s woman.
- She is reasonably and moderately materialistic, moneycentric and optimally exposed.
- She is more conscious and passionate about the health, survival and sanity of her home than her profession.
- She is rather conscious of her behavior and attitude around her husband’s family, friends and associates.
- She is moderately demanding and not too expensive to maintain.
- She is willing to build with her husband, and not just living and spending it all with her husband.
- Her ambition and needs are very compatible with that of the needs of her marriage and that of her man, so complains less.
- At least, to a humanly possible and reasonable extent, she accomadates, tolerates and overlooks her hubby’s excesses.
- Her man will not continue to see her as a competitor; an antagonist; an enemy or an all fair weather wife.
- Her husband will see her more as a life partner and a joint builder than just a wife.
- She balances the deserved attention among her home, husband and her job, so there must still be time to share quality time with husband and children synergistically.
- While she won’t be the docile or ‘sit down there wife!’, she mustn’t be the ever stubborn, confrontational, daring and of the wild orientation type.
- She is not of the ‘She is always desperately looking for money type…’, so that she won’t keep living with the man under undue pressure and frustration.
- She is a mother indeed to her children and husband, and not a mother by mouth or impression.
- She is a source of joy, pride and fulfillment to her home, and not a pain in the neck of her marriage.
- She is convinced about the marriage; she believes in the potential of the man, and resolutely wants to keep it.
- She cannot sacrifice her marriage for anything. Moreso, the celebrity fanfare and the razzmatazz of it.
- She is a value based woman with a poise for the preservation of her woman dignity, values and honour.
- She is not creating an impression of a perfect woman; saintly life style or a life of mirage to deceive her fans.
- She is not extravagant – knows what to do with money and can manage resources.
- She gives her husband optimal attention, food, sex and support.
- She is a woman of dignity, who respects herself and hates anything which could damage her reputation and taints her brand personality.
- She is real and not a pretender or fake. She is who she is whether a celebrity or not.
- She respects her husband; fights him, but very quick to forgive and forget about it.
- She avoids engaging her husband in physical fight; open confrontation and personality harassment.
- As a celebrity and a wife, she strives to be a role model to her society and not just a celebrity.
- She loves her husband; she is submissive; supports him spiritually and with everything.
- She is a good and warm home maker. She can handle a home.
- Above all, she wants the marriage and wants to continue to do everything to keep it. So, this woman does not talk anyhow to her husband!
SHE DOESN’T TALK ANYHOW TO HER HUSBAND!
On this note, there is no reason for any celebrity marriage or any marriage whatsoever not to survive it, if the woman can strive to be a woman of more than 60% of these outstanding matrimonial virtues and ideals….