‘Where there is lack of money to meet the family’s needs, spouses can resent each other’
-TINUKEMI OLAOYE, life coach (Lifeaholic blog)
Would you say money is a major cause of marriage break up?
Yes, money has been cited as a major cause of marriage problems and eventual break-up.
To what extent can money affect marriage?
According to research conclusions, money is the number one cause of marriage problems and couples fight and differ over money much more than they do on any other issues.
Too much of it or a lack of it, which is the bigger problem?
A lot of money can be a source of marriage issues, and a lack of money can also be a major marriage issue. I believe one scenario is not bigger than the other because any of them can lead to a breakdown of the marriage relationship.
A lot of money can be a major issue if one or both spouses do not have a measure of financial intelligence. Additionally, a lot of money is mismanaged or spent on vices, it can lead to major problems.
Where there is a lack of money to meet the family’s needs, a lot of frustration can set in. Spouses can resent each other or even start doing desperate things to find money. It’s especially worse where the money is needed for basic food, health or shelter reasons. A lot of negative emotions will surface: anger, distrust, shame, regret, resentment, depression and others.
How do couples tackle this problem?
Among other ways, couples can tackle this problem by:
- a) working to generate money. Both spouses should do what they can to bring in some money to support the family. This work can be at a paid job or some kind of business.
- b) The spouses should learn about money. Having a little financial intelligence will go a long way in helping couples to manage their finances. They can read books on saving, budgeting, and other financial matters. They can also plan together on what they want to do with their joint family income.
- c) Both spouses should live within their means. Greed can be present whether there is plenty of money or a lack of it. Care should be taken to delay gratification.
- d) Both spouses should trust each other. Trust is an important element of marriage. Where there is no trust in a marriage, it will quickly show up in the area of money. Spouses can start hiding money details, lying about money or even undertaking huge financial commitments without letting their spouse know about it. A couple can work on earning each other’s trust and being vulnerable with each other.