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How to keep yourself  busy without a boyfriend  or girlfriend

young black lovers

Coping without a lover appears seemingly painful and boring. But there are many ways damsels and lads can occupy themselves when they are unattached.

Here are a few samples:

  • Quit the feeling that your life is boring and that your friends are not good enough and a girlfriend or boyfriend will magically solve your problem. These are dangerous thoughts that are like quicksand and they keep depressing you. Life is a battle for everyone and I know exactly how you feel (I’ve felt it at your age and still feel it at times), and everyone goes through this. But I promise, you can start to feel amazing about your life if you change a little bit of your perspective!
  • First, remember that you are just in a learning phase. It is not a bad phase. It may not be the most pleasant, but definitely not a bad phase. If you give up at this phase, how will you know the value of life and enjoy its fruits?
  • Now, the reason you are feeling depressed and frustrated is most likely a feeling of “lack of purpose”.
  • Why do we have this feeling? It is because the world around us pushes us into building and believing in a perfect self-image in order to feel happy. Being kids, we believed in all the hype and started doing everything people around us did, went to school, nice to the authorities, followed all of society’s norms, not ask questions, etc. But the happiness, never came. You are out of university, but you don’t have the dream job you’re told you would have. You don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend like the others
  • At this point, most of us panic. We feel lost and frustrated. Who wouldn’t with such a devastating outcome after so many years of labouring?
  • The truth is that you don’t need any of the fake securities to be happy with yourself. True happiness comes from a deep sense of confidence that your life is your own and you can be happy without complying with others’ standards. Then, anything you earn on top of it will only add to your happiness. So, here’s a small exercise you can do to start gaining that confidence.
  • In one week, why don’t you accomplish the following easy goals in the following order (as you keep yourself busy doing them you won’t even have time to be bored or depressed):
  • Throughout the seven days, you must exert yourself for at least one hour in any physical activity of your choice. It can be running, cycling, or working out or anything else. I can’t tell you how much it changes the way you feel.
  • Ask your parents how their adolescence and teenage was. You will be amazed how much they have in common with you. Maybe you’ll figure out you haven’t been talking much with them these days.
  • Go out and strike a conversation with a complete stranger and take the conversation to the point of learning about his/her life. You might find out how strangers can turn into friends.
  • Start to take up one new hobby, pick anything that interests you. Maybe playing a music instrument. Learning any new skill will give you feelings of satisfaction and when you’re searching for a girlfriend or boyfriend you can use it to your advantage anyway.
  • Now, your favourite part. Go to a lady or guy you’re interested in and make a casual conversation. Do not have any expectations from him/her. Just talk to him/her about a casual topic and maybe know his/her opinion about that topic.
  • Travel to a beautiful place. It can be nearby and preferably a calm and serene location, gist with people, read novels and watch movies.



My work also keeps me busy. I am a teacher, by the time I get home every day, I would be tired from talking in school. So, I like to rest. I have just taken a form for my masters, so there is no time to think about any boyfriend matter because I need to focus on myself. Guys will come when they know that you won’t be a liability to them because you have a means of livelihood, they will just be there to support.


FOLORUNSHO ADEDAYO – When I come back from work, I go out to drink with friends, see a movie in the cinema. Every Friday, I go clubbing. So, it’s not boring not having a girlfriend.


ANNA AKPAN – I spend most of my time at work so, I don’t get bored because I don’t have the time to chat with people who are less busy. I see a lot of movies at night before bedtime. I also think of how to be a better person.


CHINENYE AGWU – I go to a lot of events with friends or people I am familiar with. I take a stroll when I am bored at home or I try to do something that would take a little time like baking, cleaning the house, etc.


DUPE OMOLOKUN – I visit my friends and gist with them or I invite them to my house. I make sure I don’t go home early from work except there is electricity to watch movies. I visit the mall regularly. Even when I don’t have the cash to buy, I window shop and make sure I am happy with what I do.

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