Encomium
More than a year after her husband (Oluwabunmi Adedayo) departed this earth on September 25, 2013, Oluwayemisi is still mourning the man she spent about five years of her life with.
On a dedicated website in memory of the Executive Director of Tastee Fried Chicken, she grieves and mourns and cries about her predicament.
In The Sun is yet to rise, written nine months after her husband’s death, she stated:
9 months – The Sun is yet to Rise.
It’s 9 months today but it feels like only yesterday. I can smell, taste the awry atmosphere of that morning. The palpable pain of that day is well too familiar. The urgency, anxiety and hopelessness of the feeling of uncertainty became too real and familiar.
I remember that very day… That day when my dark days ‘officially’ began. It was presided with the feeling of the urgency of a looming and impending calamity. I prayed… Oh! I prayed that God will restore your soul and body even to frailty… I was going to nurture you to recovery no matter how long… But those were mere fantasies that were doomed to be gone with the wind. I hoped against all hopes, I believed and trusted … But they hit the rocks and shattered right before my very eyes. My hopes, beliefs and trusts became crippled and paralysed and I became helpless.
I remember the very statement on the night before that fateful day that plunged me into the great despair and put that monkey of trepidation on my shoulder. That was a pointer to the unfolding events of the next hours. I could not sleep; panic attacks and anxiety was the order. I feared that something may not go right, albeit I hoped for the divine and believed for a miracle expecting that it would all make a more wonderful and a sweeter testimony. I couldn’t wait for the break of dawn, hoping that it would bring with it a ray of hope not knowing that the sun would set at that very dawn.
I can’t come to terms with not being there with you when you got to your finished line and took your last breath. I wanted to fight beside you as you fought to stay alive for me. I wanted to hold your hands as you embarked on your journey to the great beyond. How I wish!
How could I have known that going back to Nigeria to bring our kids so we could all be together would be the very last day I would see your heart beat. I was doing it for us… I wanted us to be together – thinking that may hasten your recovery. I wanted your kids to see their daddy, I wanted you to hear their voices…
But I was dead wrong… It wasn’t going to happen.
We didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.
I did not have the chance to bid you farewell. I might not have had the courage and the clarity of mind to do so if I was there present at that moment, however being there with you would have complicated things a little less for me.
Time goes by, tomorrow becomes today and today becomes yesterday…
My pains are not bound by the passing of time.
The Sunset at noon – Sept. 25, 2013.
Sleep on Heart of my Heart.
One of the most moving pieces was penned about Valentine’s Day (February 14, 2014).
Oluwayemisi captured her anguish very well:
My Valentine.
Valentine’s day was yesterday…
It was definitely one of my trigger days.
I missed you totally…
…I miss those morning hugs and kisses. The quick chat and gist before you head out to work. I miss following you around everywhere in the house. I miss calling your phone numerous times during the day to just gist and tell you everything I have been up to.
I miss worrying about you. I miss racking my head to come up with a dinner idea for you. I miss those re-assuring hugs when you come back from work. I miss how my face lights up at the sight of you. I miss making decisions with you at the center of it. I miss just sitting down on the floor and cuddling up on you. I miss watching your favorite programs with you, which also became my favorite shows…I miss watching WWE with you my love. I miss having to come wake you up from the couch to come sleep on the bed.
I miss those unexpected kisses on my forehead…I know it means you LOVE me dearly. I miss holding your hands …I miss how you hold my hand with your tight grip. I miss tickling and teasing you. I miss taking pictures of you around the house, I miss you making those funny faces, I miss reading your naughty notes and messages. I miss your pranks and antics. I miss hearing your voice. I miss you caring for me. I miss just laying beside you. I miss your smell. I miss how you are with your phones. I miss how you always want to solve problems….Damn it! I MISS YOU!
I miss our hook ups and date nights. I miss going to the movies with you. I miss our hotel hopping and sampling. I miss our ‘shared vice’.
I miss how you are with the kids. I miss seeing you being their Daddy. I miss how you love and care for them. I miss how happy you are when you see them. I miss seeing you melt for Yimika. I miss the pride in your eye when you see Morola…I miss you Bunmi.
I miss coming to your office. I miss you beaming with smiles from behind your desk when you see me. I miss those HUGS… they are satisfyingly re-assuring. I miss coming to get you out of work for our little escapades, I miss you caring for me. I miss you loving me….
I MISS YOU – MY DARLING OLUWABUNMI,
Words are inadequate to express how much I miss you… It’s hard
BUT…
You have engraved your LOVE and CARE in my Heart and I am tapping from that reservoir of your love….It’s just there – I feel the warmth of your love around me. I feel the essence of it.
You know what? Yesterday was tough but it was ok…because knowing how far you would go to show how much you love me, kept me going and keeps me going.
I LOVE YOU BABE.
Happy Valentine’s day!
