Classics, Interviews

Howie T, wife recount their six years of agony without a child

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For six good years, showbiz promoter, Bayo Odusanmi aka Howie T, and his wife, Motunrayo, waited on the Lord to bless them with their own child.

Putting all their hopes and trust in the Lord, the couple never got tired of praying and believing. And today, they have a sweet song to sing about the goodness of the Almighty and Creator of the Universe.

Currently rejoicing and cuddling, their bundle of joy, the couple who had the baby’s dedication on Wednesday, December 9, 2009 – with the names (Oluwatunmininu, Oluwatumife and Davina) chosen for her stole out sometime, amidst the celebration to grant us these exclusive interviews.

Enjoy and learn from their stories…

‘My wise advised that I took a second wife at some point’

How does it feel to be a father after seven years?

I am very happy, it is a wonderful feeling. People used to joke that I have been sleeping in the night for the past seven years, now I know what that means. There is no way you will not assist your wife in taking care of the baby when you hear a cry. I am very happy.

What was your reaction when your wife first told you she was pregnant?

When she told me, I took her for a test. Then, we went to see a doctor. I insisted that we go for a scan and when we found that everything was okay, we started ante-natal. In fact, we started ante-natal the first day I heard she was pregnant.

So, practically, we were pregnant together and we monitored everything together and at the end of the day, we thank God.

Were you with her in the labour room when she gave birth?

I was there, but the door was locked. I got there a little late because they had to operate on her and I waited till I heard the first cry. I was very happy to hear it, but I didn’t tell anybody because I wanted to be sure my wife was also okay. When I saw her sleeping and breathing well, I thanked God and started sending out text messages.

How did you arrive at the names you gave her and what do they mean?

Oluwatumininu means that God has comforted me, after seven years. Oluwatumife means that God has given us a new lease of life and Davina means Beloved.

Throughout your seven years of waiting, what gave you the confidence to carry on, that God will answer your prayers?

It was God. My mother had five children, my wife’s parents had seven children and I know that nothing was wrong. It was just a matter of God’s time. Of course, the men has to be stronger to always tell the wife to relax, that nothing would happen and that God would do it at His own time. And I am happy He did it at His own time and I am sure it would bring good tidings. She (my daughter) is an early Christmas gift.

All the while your wife was complaining and worried, what did you tell her, how did you comfort her?

I kept telling her to cool down that we are not God and that nothing was wrong. Something just kept on telling me that it would happen and I believed in God. But my wife was very frustrated. It even got a point when she told me to get a second wife, but I told her never.

What was the craziest advice that people gave to you and your wife while waiting on the Lord?

When it comes to my home, I don’t discuss it with even my closest friends and they respect hat. They don’t even ask me. It is what I tell them that we talk about. I don’t talk about my family outside my home, so her mind is bound to run haywire.

She could be thinking that I may be keeping some women outside. But it the duty of the man to always reassure the woman and let her know that nothing is wrong.

Was there a time you felt like having a child outside?

Never. I never felt like that because I love my wife and I kept on praying that God should just do it and He did.

The first time you saw your baby, what was your reaction?

The first thing that came to my mind was ‘Where is my wife?’ I had looked at the baby and she was very fine and beautiful, but ‘Where is my wife?’

What is your dream for this child?

Just like my father did to me and every other person does for the child, education first. Train the child to have a mind of her own and to be independent in whatever she is going to do.

What advice do you have for people who are passing through this same route that you just got compensated from?

They should believe in their marriage. Trust in God, pray with your wife, hold her hands, pray to God and tell Him what you want and no matter how hard and as long it takes, He will do it for you.

Was there a passage from the Bible that kept both of you going?

We prayed regularly and always read our Bible. Our favourite was Psalms 23. You know, we sell all these things in movies and how they end, but this is not a movie, this is real life and we are happy it ended well.

Has having your own baby increased your love for your wife?

Yes. You see, you don’t appreciate a woman until you see her give birth. When a woman delivers safely, you give thanks to God.

‘I still can’t believe the Lord has wiped away my tears’

How does it feel having your own baby after seven years of marriage?

I am over-joyed, elated. I just can’t explain it. Sometimes I just wake up in the middle of the night and I look t her and I say, ‘Is this mine?’ I am so happy about it. it is joyful.

What was your reaction when you saw your baby?

I started crying. It was tears of joy because my whole life for the past seven years flashed back and I said, so today has come, I always knew it was going to come. But I could only cry.

How did you cope all through those seven traumatic years?

It was difficult because I am somebody that loves kids a lot. It was difficult for me, not having mine. I visited friends and played with their kids, but when I come back home, there’s nobody to tell me mommy welcome or where have you been? I was always alone throughout those years, but I held on to God.

Which particular portion of the Bible kept you going?

A portion of Zephananiah which says, ‘At the appointed time, I will prefect you, I will heal you of all your diseases.’ That’s not exactly what it says, but that is the message and I held it to myself.

In those years, were you under pressure from any member of your husband’s family?

No. I didn’t have any pressure from anybody. They were all very supportive and my husband was the best. I was even the one worrying everybody that had ears to listen.

Apart from your husband, who else gave you the greatest support and encouragement?

My mom. She kept telling me that she knew God would do it. She never lost faith.

Were there times that people gave you any bad advice?

It is normal. You always have people that would suggest one thing or the other to you, but it was only God that could do this.

Was there any time your husband complained about the non-arrival of a child in the marriage?

No. I was the one that was always reacting to it. Whenever we had a little fight, I would say it is because I don’t have a child, that’s what he’s fighting me. He would just look at me and smile and I say that I am not serious.

The first time the doctor told you you were pregnant, what did you say?

I just felt maybe the man didn’t know what he was saying. I said, ‘Is this man sure of what he is saying?’I didn’t want it to be a false alarm. I had mixed feelings, I didn’t know whether to be happy or calm, because I had to go back to monitor the baby. I didn’t want to go there and be disappointed, because I had had miscarriages. I didn’t want a repeat, I didn’t want to be happy for nothing.

What advice, from your experience, would you give to people in a similar situation?

Nobody can do it for you, only God. No matter how you work or what you do, nobody can do it, except God. So, just hold on to God and at the appointed time, He would do it. It is difficult to wait. It is difficult to wait for one month or even one year, but it’s only God that can do it. You can’t buy it (a baby) in the market, otherwise I would have bought ten.

How are you going to appreciate God for this?

I am holding God in His waist, on his cloth and I would never leave him. I am someone who goes for whatever she wants and having to wait for this child was the most difficult thing I have done in my life. I think God did this, so that He would my attention fully. Because I used to think I was a superwoman, but this one, I couldn’t do myself. So, He’s got my attention and I am going to hold Him forever.


  • This story was first published in ENCOMIUM Weekly on Tuesday, November 29, 2011

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