Is it necessary for a man to go on one knee when proposing?

– counsellors,  relationship experts provide answers

The age long tradition of proposing marriage to a lady is choosing the right location, creating a romantic atmosphere, some roses, a ring (preferably diamond), going down one knee and popping the question: “Will you marry me?” But is all this really necessary?

ENCOMIUM Weekly spoke to some guidance counsellors and relationship experts, and they shared their thoughts.


‘A girl’s biggest dream’ – Stanley Onwuzuruike, Guidance Counsellor

1-Stanley OnwuzuruikeWhat’s the best approach to proposing?

A girl’s biggest dream is her perfect proposal. Every girl has a dream, to be asked the question. But what guys are lacking is the romance and creativity to ask such an important question. There is no particular best approach. The one you feel is best will be surely beaten by another, therefore simply be yourself, apply idea and etiquette.

What about the setting, how does a man go about choosing the place?

The best setting should definitely be a convenient area where the question could be popped. Find out if such is allowed in the arena where you would like to ask the big question.

Once you are dating, you will surely know places the individual likes and where can wow the lady. If you want to choose a place, then let it be a place the lady loves going to. The man could choose where they first met or have a candle lit dinner or on special days that are significant to her.

Is it necessary to go down on one knee?

Most girls do not want the ordinary scenario, that is the guy getting down on one knee with a red rose and just proposing. Though this is an old way of proposing. Men kneel as a sign of mutual respect and humility, but there are cases where the proposal is over the phone and the woman won’t even know the position the man was.

Before you make the proposal, what should you make sure of?

Make sure all is well between both of you before popping the question and also make proper arrangement where you intend as venue to avoid a show stopper coming into the picture in the name of management or security.

What’s your advice to a guy when the lady says “no”?

The question comes to mind if they have discussed their future together before the proposal. Find out why she said no and if it has to do with you, then work on it.

Do not rush out of the relationship because not all no’s mean “let’s go our separate ways”.


‘There are no particular rules to proposing’ – Oluwatoyosi Alabi,  relationship expert

What’s the best approach to proposing?

1-20151029_091234There are no particular rules to proposing.  When organizations draw up a proposal letter, they try to display their strongest features and describe why they are best for the job. So, for a man who is in love with a lady, you only want her to know you are the best person she could ever be with and what she stands to gain if she marries you. Truth is that, she already knows all these, that’s why she is with you. She only just wants to hear it from you. So, what you just need to do is be yourself and allow it come from your heart. Now, you don’t need to master words of poetry, it’s best to be authentic.

What about the setting, how does a man go about choosing a place?

Now, the kind of place to propose to your woman will be highly determined by the kind of person she is. Some women love public proposals, while some don’t. Some would prefer to be with a few trusted friends and family, some may just love it when there are quite a number of people around (known and unknown). For some, it may just be a setting that catches the attention of observers in a restaurant, some women may just love to be alone with you while you propose – just the two of you. You know your woman and you know the kind of nature she has. Is she someone with many friends? Someone who cherishes the presence of family? Or is she totally a private person? When you have concluded on that, you will be able to know the best setting applicable to your woman. Here are a few places to propose: In a restaurant with the help of the waiter; if you want to pull some stunt with the food or dessert for example, putting the ring in the cake or in a meal, etc. Or you can simply take the ring out from your breast pocket. A room filled with roses and soft music or in a park with just the two of you.

Is it necessary to go down on one knee?

Ladies love when a man goes down on one knee to propose. This is actually a westernized way of proposing and has a bit of fairy tale flavour to it. However, I can bet 99 percent of ladies want this. Not that it changes anything if you don’t do it but really, there isn’t any harm in going on one knee; nothing to lose and so much to gain! Apart from the fact that she would love it, it’s quite dramatic as well as she is taken unawares. I can tell you that a lot of ladies are moved to tears by this singular act of humility.

Before the proposal, what should one make sure of?

There are two things to make sure of; first, make sure she isn’t expecting it; it creates more effect; let it come as a surprise. Of course, she knows one day you will pop the question, she just doesn’t know when. So, when you want to propose, don’t give any indication. Second, it is best to do it when she is calm and not entirely stressed out or upset. Don’t use a proposal to cover up or make up for a mistake. Don’t use a proposal to apologize.

Finally, what would the guy do when the lady says no?

There is a low probability that your woman will say no. This is because for you to consider getting married to a woman, you should be very aware that she feels the same way. This would have come up in your discussions concerning your goals, plans and aspirations.

However, there may still be some exceptions. A rejection of your proposal may be a bit sad for you, especially if it’s in a public place with a lot of onlookers and when you have envisioned her saying yes, especially when you are in love with her.  It may be a blow on your ego. I will strongly advise that you do not take it personally and you do not react in a negative way.


‘Ladies know true affection’ – Eya Ayambem; relationship counsellor, Wives Connection Blog

What’s the best approach to proposing?

1-imageIt is saying the right words and meaning what you say. The lady knows true affection and she wouldn’t like you fidgety and stammering as a result of being taken over by nerves. Be yourself and don’t try to act or memorise long proposals you found somewhere. A simple, “Will you marry me?” displayed conspicuously for the lady can work wonders.

What about the setting, how does a man go about choosing the place?

You should know your lady by now, the kind of places she likes. If she is the outgoing, crowd-loving type, look for a crowded location. You can find those in every city in this country. If she doesn’t like crowds, hers or your birthday party with a few friends would be perfect.

Is it necessary to go down on one knee?

Yes, it is necessary to display your affection towards her on this special day. You are making a request, she has the power to grant that request or turn you down. Who knows, this might be the only day you are going down on your knee for her. You should be excited about doing it anyway.

Before he makes the proposal, what should he make sure of?

Make sure it is at a good time and not after a fight or an argument. Both of you are at a good place in your relationship. You are satisfied that she has feelings for you too. From past conversations and happenings, you feel certain that this woman wants to be with you forever.

What’s your advice when the lady says “no”?

Fine, that’s not the end of life. Find out her reason for saying no before you decide on what to do next. Could be that she is not yet ready for marriage at the time and would have accepted at a different time or, she just doesn’t feel the same way about you.

When she tells you her reason, please believe her and do not think she is playing hard to get. If she just cannot marry you, then take care of yourself and move on. A broken relationship is better than a failed marriage.


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