Encomium
…admits her marriage is troubled in an exclusive interview
(c) Encomiums Ventures Ltd, 2016
A couple of days back, another marriage reportedly broke up in the entertainment industry. This time around, it’s pretty actress cum film maker, Mide Martins and her actor and film maker hubby, Afeez Abiodun (Owo) that have gone their separate ways. However, contrary to social media reports, it’s Abiodun that packed out of their matrimonial home, abandoning his wife, two children and other family members.
According to his troubled wife, the movie producer who is fondly addressed as ‘Opolo’ (brain) in the Yoruba movie sector, has rented a new apartment where he now lives separately.
On Saturday, April 16, 2016, Encomium Weekly was at the couple’s residence at Abimbola Awoluyi Estate, New Oko-Oba, Lagos where the pretty mother of two children – Omotola and Anuoluwa gave a vivid account of the messy situation.
The most topical issue in the industry and beyond at the moment is that your marriage to Afeex Abiodun (Owo) has crashed, and that you have moved out of your matrimonial home. But to our surprise, we met you here. What’s the truth about the whole thing?
Thank you, sir. I also say a very big thank you to Encomium Weekly magazine for your concern. I sincerely appreciate you. Actually, I have been on location for about three days. I just came back home. That was where I myself saw everything online. Actually, what initiated this issue was when I celebrated my birthday on Tuesday, April 12, 2016. Everybody knew about it, and people also knew that the next day was my husband’s birthday. But they were all shocked that I didn’t celebrate him. And instead of people to try and find out why because it didn’t happen like that last year, they didn’t bother to do that. They didn’t bother to find out what informed my action, they just jumped into conclusion and started broadcasting all sorts of bad things, false allegations against me. That’s just by the way, this is exactly how the story goes. People believed I have left my husband and moved my belongings out of his house, whereas it’s the other way round. He was the one that left me and moved out of the house. Here is our house. This is the house we have lived in for more than four years, with the children. I think you can also see the children (shows us the children). Even those ones that are not directly ours, they have all been living with us for years. So, he had left home. And this happened about three months back. I don’t usually talk about my family issues. I don’t even really like sharing our private issue with family members, I prefer resolving things on my own. I don’t like to expose myself or my husband at all. So, I kept quiet all these while, going about my daily business, working so hard for the survival of these children. Although, I trieds to make amend then by telling one or two people what actually happened. But I think from the situation of things, his mind was already made up.
That he wanted to move out?
(Cuts in) Yes, of course. Because if not, why would you leave your house over a slight issue between you and your wife? And you went out to rent another apartment to live in immediately. Why would he do that? Definitely, he must have been planning to do so for a long time or he had wished to quit but he was just looking for an excuse for him to execute his plan or wish.
What do you suspect could have spurred his action?
I don’t know. That’s best known to him. He’s a man, and I think he should be able to explain what informed his decision. Left to me, I don’t have an idea.
But you said he left the house over a slight issue. What exactly was the issue?
I won’t be able to tell you that. But all I know is that couples do have issues, it’s normal. If you don’t have issues in your marriage or relationship, that means you’re deceiving each other. Even the tongue and the teeth as close as they are, they also quarrel but they will later resolve it without a third party knowing about it. So, we have issues. This is a man I have lived with for like 20 years.
You don’t mean it?
Yes, we have lived together for about 20 years.
As husband and wife?
No, not as husband and wife. I think you’re aware we got married. So, we have lived together for 20 years but have been married for 13 years. So, you can imagine how many serous issues that we might have had while it’s very normal in any marriage. Naturally, we’re supposed to settle it amicably, no matter what might have happened. But instead, he chose to move out of the house. I just think he has decided to be a free man.
Does it mean he has packed all his belongings out of this house? Or he just left with his clothes only?
No, it’s not only clothes. He has packed everything. I didn’t even know because I wasn’t around that time.
But it was reported you’re the one who moved out of the marriage on account of allegation of infidelity on your husband. What’s the truth about this?
That’s what they’re guessing because they believe when a marriage crashes, and they heard that somebody moves out, everybody believes it must be the woman. But in our case, it’s not the woman, it’s the man. A man for that matter. No matter what, no responsible man will ever leave his family under any circumstance and go out to rent another apartment for himself.
Are you also suspecting he’s having another woman outside?
No, I am not suspecting anything, I am not feeling anything. So, I leave that area. All I know is that he moved out for his own reason. And ever since, I have tried to move on with my life.
Have you been communicating with each other?
No, we have not been doing that.
Have you attempted calling him on phone?
I did that when it’s fresh. I tried to tell people but nothing happened then.
But later did you call him again?
I didn’t, we’re only talking through SMS.
And he didn’t state any reason for his action in any of his messages?
No, he didn’t state any reason. He can’t because what he did wasn’t expected of him. Let me say, it was a very harsh decision. It was too far. I, as a woman, never did such. Fine, when we quarrel at times, we may just want to go out for fresh air and come back to the house. But not you moving out of the house. So, I am trying to move on with my life. And I didn’t talk to anybody about it, not until my birthday. That’s what prompted all the reports on social media.
We learnt you didn’t celebrate your husband on his birthday.
(Cuts in) Yes, I didn’t.
But did he celebrate you on your birthday?
Yes, he did. That’s where the problem lies.
Some people said he sent you a congratulatory message, and even used your picture on his Instagram page but you didn’t reciprocate. Why?
Yes, I didn’t because this is the way I looked at it, you used my picture, you celebrated me, said some nice things about me on your page which I believe it’s all a camouflage. Yes, that’s my belief if you ask me, because this is a woman you have not taken care of, that you have not done anything for in the last three months. And you now go out presenting her to the whole world as if she is everything to you, as if all is well between two of you, as if you’re still the man of the house or you’re still her husband. You now said I am your angel, Ibadi Aran’, and all that as if you’re taking care of me. If I am your angel, would you leave me to starve to death or have you cared about how myself and your children have lived for the past three months. Have you come to that? Have you cared about them? So, why did you now go on air to start fooling people? What are you celebrating? So, the next day, I didn’t celebrate because if I did, who will I be fooling? Would I be fooling myself? That he’s a perfect man? Or will I be fooling the whole public that everything is well with us when in the real sense of it it’s not? Will I tell the world that everything has been fine when I am suffering and dying inside? Taking care of children alone is not easy, everybody knows that.
Five good children on me alone. We all know what that means.
Do you mean the union has produced five children?
No, we have two children, but we also have two cousins and a house keeper. They’re all on our necks.
Does your husband also have a relative living in this house?
Yes, both of us have a cousin each with our children and the house help. They’re all with us here. They’re all around now. If you want me to call them out, I will. It’s a reality. Let’s even say if the cousins are not your direct blood, what of your children? What about those little girls? Don’t you think of their future? Now he goes on Instagram uploading those children’s pictures constantly giving the public an impression and belief you’re the best dad in the world. And you have not seen these children for three months and you don’t care about them. If not for the birthday issue, I am not sure he’s going to see them for the next one year. If not for the birthday issue that arose, life would have just continued like that.
Did he see the children during the birthday celebration?
No, he didn’t see them. I was in this house on my birthday, indoors. I only went to the bank, I went to the market and bought some things. Then, I came back home and celebrated my birthday quietly with my children.
Have you reported the matter to any of your husband’s family members?
I told you that I reported to one or two people. I am not all that kind of family, family style. It’s just one or two people that know about the issue.
Then, what steps have these people taken to resolve the issue?
They have tried to resolve it but it didn’t work out. But as you can also see now, I am still in the house, taking care of the children while he’s the one outside.
Are you people Christians or Muslims?
No, he’s a Muslim, I am a Christian.
Have you reported the matter to your pastor?
No, I don’t even need to tell any pastor. The only one I need is God.
That means you have handed over the matter to God?
Yes, I have handed everything over to God for Him to take over. He is the only one that can direct us. He’s the Alfa and Omega, the judge of the judges, He’s the only one that can handle this situation now.
In the last 13 years you have been together as a couple, has there been any serious crisis like this between the two of you?
No, there has been nothing like that.
But sometime in 2013, it was reported that you separated from your husband on allegation of infidelity on your part, same issue as being bandied now. As an actress, how do you feel about the whole thing?
All those times they said we had separated in the past, it wasn’t true at all. There wasn’t anything of such at all. We have never been separated before since we got married. This is the first time it’s happening for real.
But why is it that it’s always on account of infidelity and it’s always directed to you?
You also know that people like judging others by their appearances or looks which in reality, they can’t be what people think they’re. As an actress, it may be because of the roles interpreted in the movies that make them think in that direction. But they need to understand that this is my profession and whatever I do can’t be used to judge who I am because it’s not the real me. I am just imitating a character and everything according to the script. What many people don’t know about us is that we actually act the opposite of who we are in real life. And that’s what makes you an actor. For you to be able to act perfectly, what you’re not is exactly what acting is all about. At times, when I see myself on the screen, I feel like asking myself what came over me then because I am a very calm and homely person. If I am not on location, I am in my house with my children. I love staying at home, especially with my children. I only go out once in a while and it’s when the need arises.
With the way things are now, people might have concluded you’re the one cheating on your husband. Would you say that has never happened before?
That’s never happened since we got married.
That means you have never cheated on your husband?
I have never cheated on my husband. Instead, I have always worked up my head day and night trying to support this marriage. That’s always been my main mission.
And you said you have also not suspected him of anything like that?
I don’t know anything like that.
But how do you cope not seeing him around you for the past three months?
It’s God. I believe God will never abandon His own. That’s God for you. I have been surviving by His grace. God Almighty has never disappointed me, and I am sure He will never because I never did anything wrong or bad. I never wished my husband anything bad. All those allegations against me are false.
Recently, you celebrated your birthday, how old are you now? And how would you describe that day generally in your life?
I am sorry, I can’t disclose my age. I am just a year older now. On how I celebrated it, like I told you, I celebrated with my family but without my husband.
We guess that will be the first time such a thing would happen?
Yes, that’s right because we’re all together here in this house, including my husband celebrating and rejoicing. In fact, we actually went to Shoprite with the children and some close relatives.
But what happened this year that made everything the way it’s now is best known to God. I believe whatever is hidden to man is definitely known to God. So, I leave everything unto God to take total control of the situation.
That means you still want the whole thing resolved?
Yes, I want it resolved. That’s why I said I have handed over the matter to God.
-TADE ASIFAT2.
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