Encomium
Attraction is everything, especially when it is powerful and mutual. Attraction can provide a link to another human so irresistible that it feels like an enchantment, one that renders all other needs and duties oddly meaningless, tiresome and irrelevant. The Greeks portrayed sexual attraction as a weapon, a dart that might pierce the flesh and possess a soul, causing chaos among humans and gods alike.
A man can be physically attracted to a woman, without any feelings of love, and this form of attraction is purely primal and is focused completely on the “body” of the woman involved. Relationships are built on a love based attraction. So, what’s important would be is to know the traits in a woman which men find most attractive and which makes them fall in love.
Physical structure. As far as physical features are concerned, men get attracted to a woman’s skin tone, lips, height and waist-to-hip ratio. Contrary to popular assumptions, men are not bothered much about the size of the breasts when it comes to looking for a life mate. These factors are pretty much insignificant.
Smile. A smile can easily win over a male heart. If, as a girl, you are prone to having a smiling face, you are more likely to be approached by guys than when you have a smug, or frowning face.
Eyes. Next to the smile, this is another facial feature that men get attracted to. Some men simply fall in love with the woman’s eyes. The eyes can speak a thousand words and this is very much true and with it comes attracting men.
Hair. Most men get attracted by moderately long hair or anything close to shoulder length as that looks more feminine. Having said that, there are a lot of men who find women with short hair attractive.
Voice. Women are naturally endowed with beautiful voices which men find highly attractive. Some men love a strong voice in a woman, some prefer a soft tone, with a high pitch. Some women have a husky voice and many guys find that attractive too.
Soft heartedness. Men are more likely to fall in love with a woman who is soft, or warm-hearted, than a woman who is cold. Guys love to be mothered (not nagged but cared for), and so they tend to fall for a woman who offers them acceptance and warmth. This would have to be the trait that men find most attractive in women.
Modesty. Men fall in love with the “modest” girls, and lust after the “hot” ones. Modesty in behaviour, dressing and talking is what men look for in their “long-term” partner. Though guys find “hot” women attractive mostly physical in nature and they lose interest after a few passionate encounters in the bed. There is also a common consent among men that “hot” women are less reliable, and high maintenance. In short, men love women who they can take home to their mother.
Feminine. “Most Men” like feminine women. Feminine is all about being soft, kind hearted, understanding and caring. This attraction is justified by the fact that men are attracted to traits in a woman which they themselves lack.
Character. Men are attracted to a woman who projects strength of character and integrity. The word “fidelity” is becoming rarer nowadays even among women, who were historically more loyal of the two, and men find this to be bad news. So, men are constantly on the lookout for a woman who can invoke trust through her strength of character.
Sense of Humour. Men generally get attracted to women with a good sense of humour. A woman who can understand and laugh with them. Sense of humor is not necessarily the ability to say jokes but the ability to understand and laugh at one.
Confidence. Men get attracted to women who make them feel comfortable and confident. Women who support them and the one with whom he feels relaxed and open.
Intelligence. What men want in a girlfriend is a woman who can stand as his equal. So be the smart, savvy woman you are. To him, it’s a total turn-on.
Unmaterialistic. He wants to be your knight in shining armour. And yes, he wants to treat you like the princess you are, but that doesn’t give you license to act like one. Allow him the luxury of treating you with romantic dinners and surprises without having to demand them of him. He’ll be relieved that he doesn’t have to try so hard and surprisingly, this will inspire him to rise to the occasion when he doesn’t have to dedicate his whole paycheck to lavish tokens of his love for you.
Sensuality. We’ve already mentioned before that it’s not all about your looks, it’s more about an air of sexiness and confidence that will draw his eyes to you when you enter the room. Embrace your femininity.
Honesty. If he can’t trust you, how can he ever see you as his girlfriend , and eventual spouse? Keep things open and honest in your relationship. A little white lie over flirty texts with an old guy friend from college can spiral out of control very quickly into a full-blown fight and break-up.
Independence. Dating a driven, passionate woman? No man wants a girlfriend they have to reassuringly text, call or visit every five minutes. Learn to give your guy his space or he may break up with you to get it.
Supportive. As clichéd as it is, some men want to be caretakers, but even the strongest of men want a soft place to fall. He wants to know that you’ll support him and stand by him in his life choices, whether it’s changing careers or moving to a new place. Be supportive but not suffocating.
ENCOMIUM Weekly spoke to men about what they find attractive in women.
TOLULOPE ADEYEMI – Her attitude determines if I’m going to even ask her out in the first place. Then, I look for the sense in whatever she says. She has to be very smart, very intelligent. I don’t go for dull girls.
IBUKUN FALADE – For me to date a lady she has to know how to cook well, so many ladies these days can’t even cook at all. She also has to be very respectable and decent.
DAMILARE EKUNDAYO – Most people make mistakes and go for just the looks, not knowing it’s more of the ladies attitude. A lady has to be very calm. I dislike lousy ladies, I dislike ladies that just love attention. I look out for calm ladies, she also has to be fair complexioned.
WOLE ADEYINKA- She has to be decent, she must be clean. She has to be intelligent because the future of my kids are at stake. She has to be a good cook, she has to be humble, regardless of her position.
JOSEPH ADEPOJU – My kind of girl is that who would respect me, my opinions and my ethics about life. She has to be beautiful too. She has to be learned and she must not be Igbo.
CHIDI ORJI – I like my woman to be caring, gentle, neat, patient, whether she’s short, or tall or not so pretty is okay. As long as I can speak to her and she listens then I am good. There is nothing as good as having a woman who listens to you.
TUNJI OGUNSANYA – My woman has to be well endowed, because I like it. If she isn’t, then there is high possibility that I would cheat on her. So, I go for huge boobs and bum. It’s what I like, I don’t even hide it.
GEORGE ADEDAYO – She has to be beautiful, she has to be the less nagging type. She has to be the type that can tolerate me a lot, she also has to be a woman that has a mind of her own. I like my woman fair also.
– TOSIN ODUMOSU
