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Relationship experts share thoughts on the best age to get married! -‘Love is not enough’

Some believe that the earlier the better; while others believe that like fine wine, we get better with age.

The idea of a right age to tie the knot has caused some controversy over the years, with those holding opposing views unwilling to reach a compromise.

One undeniable truth is that marriage puts real pressure on our character and brings our true nature to the fore; and with this in mind, all parties can agree on one thing – marriage is not for boys and girls! It is for men and women who have attained some measure of independence – both financially and emotionally, and can handle their businesses, at least to an extent.

However, we have sought the insightful thoughts of relationship experts and marriage counselors and their informed opinions are presented here.



(Relationship expert), The Counseling Ambassadors

What is the ideal age to get married and why?

To each person, it’s a different age peculiar to one’s destiny because each of us is uniquely made and for a peculiar purpose only that person can fulfill.

However, an ideal age should be when one can fend for himself and the family. It is also when they are matured enough physically, emotionally, financially and psychologically equipped and ready to live together for better and the other way.

Before now, our parents married between 18-22 or earlier if their parents thought they had found a partner for him or her. Some were given out in marriage when they finished standard six, NCE, and very few after university graduation.

Now, parents expect their children to have at least a Bachelors degree in their kitty, before getting married, so the earliest time is about 22-30 years of age.

Is there anything like ‘early marriage’, at what age would that be?

Early marriage exists; it is giving out minors out in marriage. Most times, it is done without their consent, which negates the law of marriage that there should be consent between the couples. Minors are less than 18 years of age conventionally.

At 18, a child has just graduated from secondary/high/ vocational school, how much can she or he earn at that age? To feed, let alone take care of a family?

It was probably ok in those days when an 18 year old was equipped to knit, cook or farm, when not much was expected, not now.

What psychological effect does marriage have on a young person?

A lot of effects – anger, hopelessness at not being able to fulfil destiny, especially if forced. Lack of trust, change in character may occur as a means of protest, suicidal tendencies, etc.

On the other hand if there is consent, even in the face of love, regret occurs as a result of not enjoying the good things of life, because there’s no money, health may be affected negatively if the body is not prepared to take on some tasks it is subjected to. Erosion of self esteem, mood change, home sickness, domestic violence as a result of frustration, etc.

What’s the best advice you have for intending couples?

Always pray for God’s guidance. We need God, He created us and knows us and for what purpose. He knows who your partner is, where she/he is, how to find him or her.

Again, make sure you are ready mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially, spiritually, equipped to go into the joint venture. It is a school where you are issued your certificate as you are admitted and you are not to graduate from.

Another thing, in as much as we want to learn from experience, we must understand that each marriage is unique as each couple’s behaviour is unique and no two situations and circumstances are ever the same.

Now that most females are financially stronger than the men, women should not lord it over their husbands, husbands should not abuse the good naturedness of their wives. Men should not engage in violence.


FOLUSO OGUNJIMI, Marriage counselor

foluso ogunjimi

foluso ogunjimi

What is the ideal age to get married?

I think the ideal age to get married in this day and age is between 21-23.

What age would you say is too early to get married?

Like I said earlier, I think 21 years is very ideal. At that age, you are matured enough to handle certain things, but you still have time to learn along the way. Of course, by then you should have graduated from the university as a man, maybe the lady as well, but that’s not compulsory.

One important thing is independence.

What psychological effect does marriage have on a young person?

It depends on one’s cultural background. Culture has a big role to play in how marriage weighs on someone in relation to their age. For someone from Hausa tribe, early marriage might not have any significant psychological effect on him or her because that’s their culture. But for those from other tribes like Yoruba and Igbo, it could.


EYA AYAMBEM, Marriage counselor

What is the ideal age to get married?

There is no ideal age for marriage. This is a union meant for two adults.

Eya Ayambem

Eya Ayambem

Any adult can go into the Institution. However, maturity is very important, both physically and mentally. Between the ages of 18 through 30, an adult should have gotten married or in the process.

Is early marriage advisable?

While there is no best age for marriage, before the age of 18, it is considered too early as one has not attained maturity and cannot be through with education, not to talk of gaining financial independence. Child marriage is an example of early marriage.

Do you think it has any psychological effect?

The psychological effects of marriage on a young person are many: financial dependence can lead to friction and eventual divorce. There are cases of obstetric complications and psychiatric disorders suffered by ‘victims’ of early marriage. Emotional stress that comes with the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood.

What is your best advice for intending couples?

Love alone is not enough. That strong desire to care for and be with someone is just like a tide that rises and falls. Try your best to get married as an independent adult not a liability. Have a means of livelihood, a regular source of income. Empowerment helps you skip avoidable friction in your marriage.



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