Encomium
IN recent times, we have heard a lot of tales of women beating up their spouse’s lovers on finding out their partners were cheating on them. Some even go as far as maiming or even pouring acid on the other women. Studies have shown that, 56 per cent of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages. They are mostly satisfied with everything they have and aren’t looking for a way out, yet they still find themselves in bed with other women and in hot water with their wives.
Men who cheat haven’t fallen out of love, they’ve become unsatisfied with the current state of it. While they’re fulfilled in some areas, romance may be missing. It is also a known fact that men love their spouses, but they don’t know how to fix their relationship problems. So, they go outside their marriages to fill any hole.
ENCOMIUM Weekly spoke with some women to know what their reaction would be if they caught their husband cheating. We also talked to lawyers to know what legal steps a woman ought to take if she catches her husband cheating.
HOUSEWIVES
MRS. ALAKE
I would just look for the girl and have a chat with her to leave my husband. I’ll be very calm with her though, but if she doesn’t desist, I would deal with her. As for my husband, I would give him serious silent treatment in the house.
MRS. PATIENCE
I won’t do anything. Some other woman would probably attack the other lady but the person who the woman should deal with is her husband. I would sit my husband down to know why he did what he did, and also make amends. Women should stop attacking their husband’s lovers
MRS. JANET
I am a married woman. I am sure my husband would not cheat on me, but if he does, I would just walk away from the marriage and focus on my children. I can’t bear a cheating husband.
MRS. ADEDAYO
Some things are better imagined than experienced. I am not sure I know what I’d do if it happens. God forbid it happens to me but if it does, I will make sure I teach my husband and the woman he is cheating with a lesson both of them will never forget. I won’t hurt them or fight them physically but I know what I’ll do deep down in my heart.
MRS. SEKINAT
I won’t do anything. I believe cheating is in the DNA of men, I’ll just make sure he is aware that I caught him cheating. I would probably not talk to him for a couple of days. All I do is focus on my career and children.
MRS. TOLUWANI
I am presently not marred, but engaged to the most amazing man ever. We’ve been together for about two years now and there has been no sign of him cheating, but if it happens at this stage, I would just end the relationship. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.
MRS. EFFIONG
I would make sure he knows that I am aware, then I would act like he doesn’t exist in the house. I would make sure he begs me till his nose bleeds. That’s if he’s sorry, and if otherwise, I will report to his family what happened. My next action depends on what his family members say or do about the issue.
MRS. AJANAKU
I would find out who the girl is, give her a call and caution her to keep her hands off my husband, and if she remains stubborn, I will arrange some boys to teach her a great lesson or I’ll personally meet her and give her beatings she won’t forget in a hurry. One woman can’t come from nowhere to share a man I suffered with to make it to where we are today.
MRS. BOLANLE
I am no longer married though. My husband and I separated because he did not only cheat on me, but he got another woman pregnant. When he started cheating, I found out but I kept mute. When I heard he got a woman pregnant, I walked away from the marriage with my child. It was clear he didn’t want the marriage anymore. He tried apologizing but it didn’t make sense to me.
LAWYERS
FRIDAY OSHOMAGBE
What legal action should a woman take if she catches her husband cheating?
It depends on the status of their marriage. If customary, she can sue for divorce in a customary court. If they got married at a marriage registry, she can seek divorce at the high court. If conducted in a registered court, the high court position also applies but if the marriage is not in line with the above process, she can opt out if she wishes. But there’s no legal aid. Where legally married, the woman can file for divorce and claim damages if proved, the option is hers.
GABRIEL ONOJASON
What legal action should a woman take if she catches her husband cheating?
From a strictly legal perspective, adultery is not an offence. There is no law in our constitution that criminalises it. It is more of a moral issue. It could be a ground for divorce, but it is up to the woman if she can take it or not. If she waves it off as a one-off incident or if it’s continuous and she can’t live with it, it’s up to her. Again, adultery is not a crime, it is a moral issue.
