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‘Why we cannot settle down now’ – Young men highlight impediments to matrimony

A lot of men find it difficult to settle down for one reason or another. Many believe they are not ready, some are waiting for the ‘perfect woman’, while others are waiting to be financially stable before they go into marriage.

In our world today, we can see that some men who get married early did that due to family pressure or through match-making.

However, ENCOMIUM Weekly spoke with men within the ages of 30 and 40, on why they find it difficult to settle down?

ILORI SUNDAY JOSEPH, Banker (35)

When do you intend getting married?

I intend getting married this year, perhaps before June.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down and why?

Of course, it is. The poor state of the economy is enough reason most Nigerian men wouldn’t want to venture into marriage as they know for sure that no woman in her right senses would accept to tie the knots with a man who cannot take good care of her.

What do you look out for in a woman?

I like a real, well-cultured and God-fearing woman, who understands the place and the role of a woman in the life of a man and who epitomizes all the virtues of a good wife.

At what age should a man be married?

For me, marriage has nothing to do with a man’s age just as maturity has nothing to do with age. Once a man has that divine wisdom and understanding to manage a home, he automatically qualifies to go into marriage. In other words, he alone can determine if he is ripe for marriage or otherwise. It takes a high level of maturity to be able to manage a marriage, hence maturity is key.

JOSU PETER, Printer/Stylist (30)

When do you intend getting married?

I intend marrying at 32.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

I would say yes. The factors are numerous but I will mention few – economic hardship, unemployment, the fear of marriage failure, poverty, promiscuity by most men to satisfy their sexual desire.

What do you look out for in a woman?

What I look at for in a woman, I will say love and deep respect for me, understanding and trust, commitment and compatibility.

At what age should a man be married?

As for the age at which a man should marry, it all depends on the maturity and goals. But ideally, I will say nothing less than 30 because maturity comes with age.

SEYI  OGUNSOLA, Accountant (30)

When do you intend getting married?

I intend getting married at 35.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

It is a bit difficult because men want to be financially stable and ready for responsibilities and also to find that lady that they can spend the rest of their lives with.

What do you look out for in a woman?

I look out for a God fearing, beautiful, gentle, smart and hardworking woman.

At what age should a man be married?

A man should be married at 35.

TAFA MUSTAPHA, Computer Engineer (31)

When do you intend getting married?

I intend to marry at 32.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

Yes, it’s difficult for men to settle down because of ambition, trust and understanding from the lady’s side and perhaps past experiences.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Just her understanding me is what I want in a lady, apart from her homely behaviour and beauty.

At what age should a man be married?

A man should get married at 30 or thereabout.

SYLVESTER OTASOWIE, Health worker (35)

When do you intend getting married?

As soon as the time is right. Maybe next year or even this year, depending on how things go.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

Some are scared of responsibilities and duties that come with having a wife.

What do you look out for in a woman?

I am looking out for someone who is willing to share my ups and downs. She should be willing to help me achieve greater goals, not in a wrong way.

At what age should a man be married?

Anytime. There is no particular age, as far as I am concerned.

IBIAM HENRY, Accountant (32)

When do you intend getting married?

I was actually aiming at 30.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No, most men have flimsy excuses for not settling down. Some are waiting for financial breakthrough, but they forget money is never enough even if you are a billionaire.

What do you look out for in a woman?

I can’t really pinpoint, but I would like a woman I’m very happy with.

At what age should a man be married?

It is advisable for a man to get married latest at 32, so that by 50, he is no longer taking care of babies.

FELIX AMODENI, Lawyer (36)

When do you intend getting married?

In two years.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

It depends because some men may find it difficult to get the right person or they are financially incapacitated.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Everything good a woman should possess.

At what age should a man be married?

Any age, there is no specific age for that.

VICTOR AYINDE, Trader (34)

When do you intend getting married?

I don’t know.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

I will say yes because of the situation of the country. But for me, I have not found the right person.

What do you look out for in a woman?

God fearing, good looking, caring and loving.

At what age should a man be married?

Between 30 and 35.

HARRY HENRY, Journalist (30)

When do you intend getting married?

Next year.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No.

What do you look out for in a woman?

She must be God fearing, intelligent and caring.

At what age should a man be married?

30 to 40.

BADMUS OWOJUYIGBE, Banker (36)

When do you intend getting married?

I don’t know, seriously.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Caring.

At what age should a man be married?

Between 30 and 40.

THOMAS RODNEY, Businessman (30)

When do you intend getting married?

I don’t know, maybe in three or four years.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

Yes.

What do you look out for in a woman?

God fearing and she should possess all good qualities of a good wife.

At what age should a man be married?

Between 28 and 29.

AKINTUNDE ANIMASHAUN, Banker (30)

When do you intend getting married?

2018, by God’s grace.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

I see nothing difficult in settling down because it involves determination and focus.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Lovely, intelligent and God fearing.

At what age should a man be married?

Minimum of 28, at most 33.

JOHN KELVIN, Photographer (30)

When do you intend getting married?

No set time for now.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No, it is not. When a man is ready, he is ready.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Beauty and reputable character.

At what age should a man be married?

Whenever he is ready to settle down, maturity doesn’t deal with age.

CHRISTIAN OWIAFE, Technician (32)

When do you intend getting married?

In two years.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

Yes, it is because you have to plan ahead for the responsibilities.

What do you look out for in a woman?

An intelligent woman, patient, humble, supportive, available.

At what age should a man be married?

A man can get married from 24 and above.

SOLOMON ELOHOR ABE, Lawyer (33)

When do you intend getting married?

Not in my agenda this year.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

Yes, it is a lot of responsibility and hard work.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Honesty and Godliness.

At what age should a man be married?

25 and above.

LANRE OGUNJOBI, 29

When do you intend getting married?

I am making arrangements, working on it.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

It is not difficult to settle down, it takes willingness.

What do you look out for in a woman?

Attractive and good moral values.

At what age should a man be married?

Whenever he is ready to be seriously committed.

OYEDELE OLANIYI, Businessman (29)

When do you intend getting married?

When God brings an understanding person because it’s only God that can help.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

It is not difficult but when you are ready financially, you can get married.

What do you look out for in a woman?

A simple person, who is understanding and fears God.

At what age should a man be married?

30.

SAMUEL EDWIN, Businessman (40)

When do you intend getting married?

I’m not yet ready because I still want to enjoy the pleasure of being single.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No. Because I am not ready. If I’m ready, I will.

What do you look out for in a woman?

A lady who is attractive to other guys but will be mine forever.

At what age should a man be married?

35.

JOSEPH OYINLOLA, Engineer (27)

When do you intend getting married?

When I’m through with my education.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

It’s not difficult but you have to be establish a relationship before you think of marriage

What do you look out for in a woman?

A lady who can stand by me, not only beautiful but intelligent.

At what age should a man be married?

At 32.

STANLEY, Businessman (30)

When do you intend getting married?

Next year.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down?

No, it’s not difficult. When I am ready, I can settle down but not because of money. God can help.

What do you look out for in a woman?

A dark girl, beautiful and outspoken.

At what age should a man be married?

30.

SANTIAGO ROBERTS, Accountant (32)

When do you intend to get married?

I will when I am sure I am fully ready, emotionally, spiritually and financially.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down and why?

I wouldn’t say it is difficult. Getting married is a personal issue. While some wait to get to a certain status or level, others consider marriage as the springboard for reaching certain levels or standards.

Also, It is important to reiterate that marriage is not a one way traffic. It’s a decision between two people and those people have families who play major role in their life.

Some families make marriage easy while others see it as an escape route from poverty. Hence, they bombard the man with all sorts of requests in the name of bride price. So, getting married and if it’s difficult is relative; depending on which side of the fence one finds himself.

What do you look out for in a woman?

A woman who is God fearing, a true partner, not a woman who will become a pest and drain you spiritually, emotionally and financially. The woman must also be fashion conscious and stylish.

One who spins necks when she enters a room with her scent, charm, allure and style. My woman must be a complete package.

At what age should a man be married?

It is relative. While some believe marrying early helps one to retire early from child care, others believe in taking their time.

Personally, marriage is a lifetime commitment. The age to make this commitment should be as good as when the man is financially, emotionally, mentally and socially ready.

MCLAN OLAREWAJU, Engineer (32)

When do you intend to get married?

I intend to get married in 2015.

Would you say it is difficult for men to settle down and why?

The reason it is difficult for men to settle down now is because most men don’t know the meaning of love and ladies too make it worst. All they are after is money, clothes, parties, clubs, shows, no real love.

What do you look out for in a woman?

What I look for in a woman is the attitude, fear of God, wisdom and she must be focused.

At what age should a man be married?

A man should get married when he is 30 – 34.

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