Living with one partner before marriage is a trend across the world today. It seems to be more common than it was in the past. Many see it as a recipe for successful marriage while others think it’s totally wrong to cohabit with ones partner before marriage.
ENCOMIUM Weekly sought the opinion of youths on the idea of cohabiting with partner. In the chat, they reveal their stand on the issue.
MICHAEL AUSTIN – Not a good idea at all, spending the weekend together occasionally may be OK. Than to live together. Anything can happen when you live with your partner. Pregnancy may come in along the line. I have seen a lot of experience of partners who are not married but living together at the end of the day, they never got married.
ADEWALE OLADAPO – There’s really no guarantee on what will give a good marriage. It takes two willing people to make it work. That being said I think it depends on the maturity of the couple involved. Living together can be a reminder of what will be when you tie the knot. I think one might lose the excitement of being a newly wedded couple but in its place you would have gone through the teething problems that some early marriages go through.
There’s no more surprise, you learn quickly that sex life in marriage for instance is far from the occasional hormone filled hook ups you have. If two mature people feel like they are mentally strong enough to handle it or they already almost spend a lot of time together then why not? So I see nothing wrong in cohabiting if they can handle it.
OLUWAKEMI ELIJAH – Over half of unmarried couple today cohabitate. I remember when I was in school I was living with my Boy Friend, staying with him gave me a sense of direction as he was a serious and focused guy. He’s full of principle, we would wake together pray together, go to the library together, he fixes my assignments, he advices me. He was like my elder brother, I couldn’t even think of cheating on him because I had it going well. As soon as he graduated things changed and then I became something else.
My point is, it all boils down to the individual you are cohabitating with, marriage doesn’t change anybody it’s just a way of telling people officially that we are cohabitating for life. I have got many couple who initially lived together and ended up as lovely husband and wife. And same I had couple who went straight into marriage (after normal dating) and now headed for divorce. So cohabitation really doesn’t determine the future.
OMONIYI FAWOLE – I don’t see it as a bad idea. I think it allows for a better understanding between prospective couples, even if they don’t finally end up together which is very possible, I think it would prepare both of them psychologically for the problems they would both encounter when they go into marriage as I have seen people that freak out just like 3 months into their marriage. Cohabitation is normal, if both parties feel it’s nice for them.
AISHAT BABALOLA – Everybody can never follow the same way of life. Living together before marriage can either fail or be successful. At least most guys became married through impregnating someone’s daughter. Who told you all marriage started like this is doomed to fail. No one can predict marriage. I have lived with my fiancée for years yet we are not married and God has been helping us.
CALEB CURTIS – I am in support of cohabitation only if the main idea is to find out the compatibility of the couple involved. Better a broken relationship than a broken marriage. It will be better if there’s no sex during the period of cohabitation. I don’t see the point in trying to make a baby when you aren’t sure yet if you want to spend your life with the person. A baby ties two people together whether they want it or not.
JANET MOMOH – Moving in with a guy is no guarantee of settling down with him, and living apart is no guarantee either. My family won’t allow it till he has done the needful of declaring his intentions to both set of parents. So it’s a No for me.
VICTOR JAIYEOBA – Don’t let a fool kiss you and don’t be fooled by a kiss. Cohabitation before marriage is bad. I have tried it and I regretted it. Now I’m scared of marriage.
REMI SHOBOWALE – It’s a very bad idea in all ways (morally, spiritually, educationally, psychologically, socially etc). It leads to total moral decadence because there is time for everything and you have to wait for the appropriate time. What makes a right decision is doing the right thing at the right time. As a lady, I think it very, very bad because if it doesn’t work out the guy has nothing to lose.
MARY OJEIFOR – Personally, I think it’s very wrong. If you are against premarital sex then you should be against cohabitation. Ladies need to be wise because cohabitation will always be in favor of the guy. I can never try it. Once in a while visiting is enough.
MORENIKEJI AYOOLA – I see nothing wrong with that, I have done it before and we lived fine it was when we were away that the problems even started. It all depends on the kind of relationship you are into with your partner.