Encomium
ON his 49th birthday on Thursday, June 16, 2011, Afrobeat king, Femi Anikulapo-Kuti told ENCOMIUM Weekly in an exclusive interview how life has been fair to him in his 49 years’ sojourn on earth. Why he will not stop making babies even though he has five children already and his decision not to stay with a woman under the same roof, citing the ugly experience in his early marriage as reason. The two-time Grammy Awards nominee also commented on the divorce case with his estranged wife, Funke currently holding at the Lagos High Court, Ikeja, Lagos.
How does it feel to be 49?
I don’t feel anything, but I am quite happy. To me, it’s a normal day, I am going to rehearse this night. And another thing is today is quite stressful, everybody will have to greet you happy birthday and I must answer them, I must laugh, smile. I would have loved it to be a very quiet, normal day. I think birthday is for children really.
At 49, are you fulfilled?
Yes, I still have my band very intact. I travel, I am producing good albums, I just won an award. I think of all other awards in my cabinet, KORA, FAME, World Music Awards, I am quite satisfied.
Looking back down the years, what will you say gives you joy?
My children. Nothing gives me greater joy than seeing my kids smile. Made is 15 years, the younger ones came to spend the weekend with me and they are all scattered everywhere. They wrestle and jump around. I don’t think anything can give parents joy than seeing their children playing, happy, smiling and screaming round the house. And when you think of their future, there is no satisfaction than to be alive and to be there for them.
Recently you had a baby from another woman, are you going to stop there or have another one?
Maybe one or two more, it’s not bad. After all, the late MKO Abiola had more than that, so why are people complaining I am making babies? I have only five children, a whole Femi Kuti. There are some policemen that have eight children. I am not complaining, I didn’t go to bank to borrow money. I am going to have one or two more, because I love children. I wish I had them at my early years so I could play ball with them. I have no greater pleasure than seeing my children smiling, laughing, jumping in the swimming pool. As for me, I will work very hard to make money to satisfy my children. After all, I have once fathered kids that are not even my own. So, if these ones are my own, I have no choice than to make them happy. Women will always break your heart, if you don’t bring up your children well it is worse than having your heart broken. So, one needs to be a parent to the children to make them better persons. Give them education, good homes. It’s a necessary thing to do. For me, my priority is to be there for my kids.
Don’t you think they only get fatherly attention and not that of their mothers?
They all stay with their mothers. The only one permanently with me is Made and then he goes to his mother when he likes; he is old enough to decide. I don’t stop him from seeing his mother. He is not under lock and key, he does what he likes. So, the kids come and spend time with me. I am not fighting for custody of any child, I understand they need their mothers and apart from that I am not always in town. The child must come first in anything, parents may fight and separate and if we put those children in the middle of the fight the parents will regret it in the long run. So, no matter the disagreement I have with their mothers, I put the kids first and I don’t allow the annoyance I had with the mothers affect my kids. No matter what the mother does, I can’t take it on the child.
At 49, what is the greatest lesson life has taught you?
Life has taught me to always be humble, nice and optimistic.
You just came back from a tour, and very soon you will embark on another tour. Do you have time to relax?
I relax by practicing. I never relax, I never take holidays. I probably will never take holiday, I wake up and I still do six hours minimum practice everyday. I am playing the trumpet now, I can now play the keyboard. I am doing all that professionally now, but I feel I am not satisfied yet. I still want to give myself another four years to express myself better on the instrument. I am not a satisfied person when it comes to music because I know that music is an endless dictionary. Every time you think you know it, the next day you realise you don’t even know it and you need to know it and you need to know more and more. It’s like medicine, you never stop learning. We abuse the profession because we don’t know much about it but I can tell you first hand it’s not an easy profession. Music brings joy to so many people, it consoles, it heals the broken heart, it does so many things. It can make you cry, meditate, it’s medicinal in a spiritual way. The musician suffers to bring pleasure to the listeners or the dancers. You can’t complain, the people don’t care whether you have been playing for 20 years, the day you tell your fans that you are tired you lose your credibility. They don’t care, you must never be tired, no excuses. It’s a profession you can’t give excuses. So, I can’t take holiday. I will rather send my children on holiday. People are expecting the best from you every day for the rest of my life.
Of all your birthday gifts, which one is more precious to you?
No one can be more precious than the smile of my children. I got many e-mails, text messages. Made told me this morning, ‘Daddy, happy birthday’ and I just smiled. I was so content, I think that’s the greatest gift for me today. Apart from that, somebody presented me a bag of rice, two beautiful photo frames and I love them. I understand my fans are not millionaires, so their presence alone is a present.
Are you considering remarrying by the time the divorce petition you filed at the court concerning your wife, Funke pulls through?
I told you before, I don’t believe in marriage. I will never believe in marriage. It’s my personal opinion, I cannot get married again. Any woman that wants to be with me has to accept that condition. She will know I have children, she must accept and love them. Preferably, she must even love my children more than me. If she loves me more than my children, she can never win my heart. She must want to take care of those children more than me. I will appreciate her. She must know that I have girlfriends, I am a free minded person. So, nobody should try to change who I am and I am not trying to change anybody. It’s my way or no way and I am ready to stay alone. Do I complain to you? I’m contented. Besides, I have two quite serious relationships; they are foreigners. We are not legally married. I like them very much, they are not demanding. We have been together for like seven years, we just don’t think marriage. Their families may want marriage but me I don’t want.
What are the reasons you want to divorce your legally married wife?
Because of certain issues. We have been separated for eight years, we talk, we are not quarrelling. She called me today to wish me happy birthday, we have to talk because of Made. He is going to the university very soon, we have to talk as parents. I have no grudge against her, we make mistakes as human beings and I have a forgiving heart. I am not going to hold what happened between us and say I don’t want to see her face again or not talk to her. Since she is not abusing me, if she calls me for advice I will give her. I could call her if I need something, we are matured. The divorce is not a big deal, I have to protect the interest of my children. Since we are still legally married, what if I die today? The law will favour my wife. I am not saying she is after that, but I know the law. Made is going to take care of his siblings, I must protect him. I must start to train him that he will inherit his father’s properties and all other problems. He better starts understanding that now. I have to protect him irrespective of his mother or the other women and siblings. So, I don’t move in that direction quickly as I am getting old, I may not be able to do that in future.
But it took you so long before you took that decision, why?
It’s never too late, I don’t believe in marriage. Probably, if we don’t have a son, we would have been abusing each other, but that’s not the case. If you see Made now, he is the senior prefect in his school, he is doing very well. What more can a parent want? I am contented with what I have, I am blessed with five children. I have women –this is one of them, Tonia. There is Bose Ajila, they all love me. They tolerate my wahala. So, for Funke, we were young when we had Made, we got married. But I knew at that time we shouldn’t have gotten married, but we did. Somewhere we drifted apart, she was dancing on the stage, I cannot judge her and I want to see her for whom she is as the mother of my child. I am going to divorce to protect my side of my inheritance because I have five children, so if I don’t divorce her my children may suffer. What if I die and we have not divorced and then, she comes and claims everything? Then, the other children will not get anything and there will be a big war in my family. But I will be dead, my ghost will be saying, don’t fight, but they wouldn’t hear what I am saying. We know it happens, my lawyer advised me to think of the future. So, I decided to quickly regulate my Will so that nobody can disturb my children. You know it happens in our country, when you have children from different women, there is bound to be stress. So, I have to do my Will and to do that requires a divorce. I don’t have anything against her. We talked this morning, she wished me happy birthday. She said she would have come but her driver is not around.
THIS STORY WAS FIRST PUBLISHED IN ENCOMIUM WEEKLY ON TUESDAY, JUNE 14, 2011
